Gen Z: Numbers 21
1So King Arad from Canaan heard that Israel was rolling through and decided to pop off, capturing some of them.
2Israel was like, "Yo, if you help us take these people down, we’ll totally wreck their cities."
3The Lord heard Israel’s plea and was like, "Bet," handing over the Canaanites, and they wiped them out and named the spot Hormah.
4They bounced from Mount Hor, hitting up the Red Sea to go around Edom, but the vibes were off and the people were super down.
5The squad started talking smack about God and Moses, like, "Why’d you bring us outta Egypt just to die in the desert? We got no food, no water, and this bread is straight mid."
6Then God sent some fiery snakes to bite them, and a lot of Israelites were not making it.
7The people went to Moses, admitting, "We messed up, we talked trash about God and you; pray to God to take these snakes away." And Moses was like, "I got you."
8God told Moses to make a fiery snake and put it on a pole, saying, "Anyone who gets bitten can look at it and live."
9So Moses made a brass snake and put it on a pole; if someone got bitten and looked at the brass snake, they were straight chilling.
10The Israelites moved out and set up camp in Oboth.
11They bounced from Oboth and set up camp at Ije–abarim, in the wild before Moab, facing the sunrise.
12Then they dipped and pitched in the valley of Zared.
13After that, they moved and set up on the other side of Arnon, in the wild that comes from the Amorites' coast: Arnon is the border between Moab and the Amorites, no cap.
14It’s said in the book of the Lord’s wars, what He did in the Red Sea and the brooks of Arnon, straight up.
15And at the stream of the brooks that go down to Ar's spot, chilling on the border of Moab.
16Then they headed to Beer, the well where God told Moses to gather the squad, and He’d hook them up with water.
17Then Israel dropped this banger: "Spring up, O well; vibe with it!"
18The princes dug the well, the nobles got in on it, following the lawgiver’s lead, with their staffs. Then they cruised from the wild to Mattanah.
19From Mattanah to Nahaliel; and from Nahaliel to Bamoth, all lit.
20From Bamoth in the valley, which is in Moab, to the top of Pisgah, looking over Jeshimon.
21So Israel hit up Sihon, the king of the Amorites, like, "Yo, what's good?"
22"Let us cruise through your land; we ain't about to hit the fields or vineyards, and we ain't drinking your well water. We just wanna roll along the king's highway till we bounce past your borders."
23But Sihon was like, "Nah fam," and gathered his crew to confront Israel in the wild. He rolled up to Jahaz and threw down with Israel.
24Israel straight up took him out with the sword and claimed his land from Arnon to Jabbok, even up to the Ammonites, 'cause their border was no joke.
25Israel snagged all those cities and chilled in all the Amorite towns, especially Heshbon and its villages.
26Heshbon was Sihon's spot, the king of the Amorites, who had beefed with Moab's former king and took all his land, even up to Arnon.
27That's why the wise folks say, "Pull up to Heshbon, let Sihon's city be built and ready to go!"
28'Cause there's a fire blazing outta Heshbon, a flame from Sihon's city that's roasted Ar of Moab and the high ups of Arnon.
29Yo, Moab! You're done for, peeps of Chemosh; he gave up his surviving sons and daughters to Sihon, king of the Amorites.
30We took shots at them; Heshbon's toast all the way to Dibon, and we wrecked them all the way to Nophah, reaching Medeba.
31So Israel was chillin' in the land of the Amorites, vibin' hard.
32Moses was like, "Let's scope out Jaazer," and they took the villages, kickin' the Amorites outta there.
33Then they dipped up through Bashan, and Og, the king of Bashan, rolled out to face them with his crew for a showdown at Edrei.
34The Lord told Moses, "No cap, don’t sweat him; I got him and his whole squad in your hands. You’re gonna handle him like you did Sihon, king of the Amorites back in Heshbon."
35So they took him down, plus his sons and all his peeps, until no one was left breathing, and they claimed his land.