1The kingdom of heaven's like ten vibes, who grabbed their lamps and bounced to meet the groom.

2Five were smart, and five were totally sus.

3The sus ones took their lamps but forgot the oil, like, no cap.

4But the wise ones brought oil in their vessels with their lamps, 'cause they were goated.

5While the groom was chillin', they all dozed off and caught some Z's.

6Then at midnight, someone shouted, "Yo, the groom's here; let’s go meet him!"

7All the vibes woke up and got their lamps ready.

8The sus ones were like, "Yo, give us some of your oil; our lamps are totally dead."

9But the wise ones were like, "Nah fam, we can't share; go buy some for yourself."

10While they were out buying, the groom showed up; the ready ones went in with him to the wedding, and the door was shut, periodt.

11Then the other virgins rolled up, like, "Lord, Lord, let us in!"

12But he was like, "No cap, I don’t even know you."

13So stay woke, 'cause you don’t know when the Son of Man is gonna pop off.

14The kingdom of heaven is like a dude who peaced out to a faraway place, calling up his servants to handle his biz.

15He gave one five talents, another two, and another one, all based on their rizz, then bounced.

16The dude with five talents went to work and flipped them into five more, straight up hustling.

17The guy with two did the same and snagged two extra.

18But the one who got one just dug a hole and stashed his lord’s cash, super sus.

19After a hot minute, the lord came back to check in on his servants.

20The dude with five talents came through with five more, saying, "Yo, you gave me five, and I lowkey doubled it!"

21His boss said, "Lit job, you good and loyal homie! You’ve been solid with a little, so I’ll make you the boss of a lot: come vibe with me in the joy."

22Then the dude with two talents pulled up and said, "Yo, you gave me two talents, and check it, I doubled that up!"

23His boss said, "Lit job, good and loyal homie; you’ve been solid with a little, so I’ll make you the boss of a lot: come vibe with me in the joy."

24Then the guy who got one talent came and said, "Yo, I knew you’re a tough dude, reaping where you didn’t sow and gathering where you didn’t plant."

25"I was low-key scared, so I hid your talent in the dirt: here’s what’s yours, no cap."

26His boss replied, "You sus and lazy servant, you knew I reap where I didn’t plant and gather where I didn’t spread."

27"You should’ve at least put my cash with the money guys, so when I came back, I’d have my own with interest."

28"So take that talent from him and give it to the one with ten talents."

29"For everyone who’s got will get more, and they’ll be living large; but from the one who has not, even what they have will be taken away."

30"And throw that useless servant into the dark outside: it’s gonna be weeping and grinding teeth, fr."

31When the Son of Man rolls up in all his glory, and all the holy angels are vibin' with him, he’s gonna chill on his throne like a boss.

32All the nations are gonna gather 'round, and he’ll separate them like a shepherd splits his sheep from the goats, no cap.

33The sheep are gonna be on his right side, and the goats are gonna be on the left, periodt.

34Then the King’s gonna say to those on his right, “Yo, you blessed ones, come through and inherit this kingdom that’s been prepped for you since day one.”

35I was starving, and you fed me; I was thirsty, and you hooked me up with a drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in, fr.

36I was bare, and you clothed me; I was sick, and you came to check on me; I was locked up, and you visited me, that’s real.

37Then the righteous are gonna hit back, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and fed you? Or thirsty and gave you a drink?”

38“When did we see you as a stranger and take you in? Or naked and clothe you?”

39“Or when did we see you sick or in prison and come to you?”

40And the King’s gonna respond, “For real, I tell you, whatever you did for the least of these my peeps, you did it for me, no cap.”

41Then He’s gonna say to those on the left, “Bounce from me, you cursed squad, into that forever fire made for the devil and his crew.

42I was starving, and you didn’t even share food: I was parched, and you didn’t give me a drink, no cap.

43I was a stranger, and you left me hanging: I was bare, and you didn’t hook me up with clothes: sick and locked up, and you didn’t check on me.

44Then they’ll hit Him back, saying, “Lord, when did we see you starving, thirsty, a stranger, naked, sick, or locked up, and didn’t help you?”

45He’s gonna reply, “For real, I’m telling you, whatever you didn’t do for the least of these, you didn’t do for me.”

46And those peeps will dip into eternal punishment: but the good ones will roll into eternal life.

1Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.

2And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.

3They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:

4But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.

5While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.

6And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.

7Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.

8And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.

9But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

10And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.

11Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.

12But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.

13Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

14For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.

15And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.

16Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents.

17And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two.

18But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord’s money.

19After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them.

20And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.

21His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

22He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.

23His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

24Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:

25And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine.

26His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed:

27Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.

28Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.

29For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.

30And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

31When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:

32And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:

33And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

34Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

35For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

36Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

37Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

41Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:

42For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:

43I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.

44Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?

45Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

46And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.