1The Pharisees and Sadducees pulled up, tryna get Jesus to show them a sign from heaven. So sus.

2He was like, “When it’s evening, you say it’s gonna be chill vibes ‘cause the sky’s red.”

3“And in the morning, you’re all like, ‘It’s gonna be a rough day’ ‘cause the sky’s red and gloomy. Y’all are hypocrites; you can read the sky but can’t peep the signs of the times?”

4“A wicked and shady generation wants a sign; only the sign of the prophet Jonas is coming. Then he dipped.”

5When his crew got to the other side, they totally forgot the bread.

6Jesus was like, “Yo, watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”

7They were lowkey debating, thinking it was ‘cause they forgot the bread.

8Jesus caught on and said, “O ye of little faith, why y’all stressing about bread?”

9“Do you not get it yet? Remember the five loaves for the five thousand? How many baskets did you pick up?”

10“And what about the seven loaves for the four thousand? How many baskets did you grab?”

11Yo, how come you don’t get it? I wasn’t talking about bread, but watch out for the rizz of the Pharisees and Sadducees, fr.

12Then they figured it out; he meant to be wary of the vibes from the Pharisees and Sadducees, not the bread, no cap.

13When Jesus rolled up to Cesarea Philippi, he asked his crew, "Who do people say I am, the Son of Man?"

14They were like, "Some say you’re John the Baptist, others say Elijah or Jeremiah, or one of the prophets, periodt."

15Then he hit them with, "But who do you say I am?"

16Simon Peter popped off and said, "You’re the Christ, the Son of the living God, goated!"

17Jesus replied, "You’re blessed, Simon Bar-Jona; no human clued you in, but my Father in heaven did, lit."

18"And I’m telling you, you’re Peter, and on this rock, I’m building my church; the gates of hell can’t beat it, fr."

19"I’m giving you the keys to the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth is bound in heaven, and whatever you loose is loose, no cap."

20Then he told his squad not to spill the tea that he was Jesus the Christ, savage.

21From that time, Jesus was like, "Yo, I gotta go to Jerusalem, suffer a bunch from the elders and chief priests, get killed, and then bounce back on the third day. That's the vibe."

22Then Peter was like, "Nah, fam, that's not happening to you, Lord. No cap."

23But Jesus turned and told Peter, "Get behind me, Satan. You're a major vibe check for me; you ain't thinking about God’s stuff, just human junk."

24Then Jesus said to his squad, "If anyone wants to roll with me, they gotta deny themselves, pick up their cross, and follow me. Periodt."

25"For whoever tries to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. That's lit."

26"What’s the point of a man gaining the whole world but losing his soul? Like, what can you trade for your soul? Sus."

27"The Son of Man is gonna come in the glory of his Father with his angels, and he’ll reward everyone based on what they did. Goated."

28"For real, some of you standing here won’t taste death until you see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom. That's bussin'."

1The Pharisees also with the Sadducees came, and tempting desired him that he would shew them a sign from heaven.

2He answered and said unto them, When it is evening, ye say, It will be fair weather: for the sky is red.

3And in the morning, It will be foul weather to day: for the sky is red and lowring. O ye hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky; but can ye not discern the signs of the times?

4A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas. And he left them, and departed.

5And when his disciples were come to the other side, they had forgotten to take bread.

6Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.

7And they reasoned among themselves, saying, It is because we have taken no bread.

8Which when Jesus perceived, he said unto them, O ye of little faith, why reason ye among yourselves, because ye have brought no bread?

9Do ye not yet understand, neither remember the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?

10Neither the seven loaves of the four thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?

11How is it that ye do not understand that I spake it not to you concerning bread, that ye should beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees?

12Then understood they how that he bade them not beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.

13When Jesus came into the coasts of Cesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?

14And they said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist: some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets.

15He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?

16And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

17And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar–jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.

18And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

19And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

20Then charged he his disciples that they should tell no man that he was Jesus the Christ.

21From that time forth began Jesus to shew unto his disciples, how that he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day.

22Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee.

23But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.

24Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

25For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

26For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

27For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.

28Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.