1Then some scribes and Pharisees from Jerusalem rolled up to Jesus, like,

2"Why do your squad break the elder's traditions? They ain't even washing their hands before munching."

3But Jesus clapped back, “Why do you also flex on God’s commandments with your traditions?”

4God straight up said, “Honor your dad and mom; if you curse them, you’re outta here.”

5But you guys are like, “If you say it’s a gift to your parents, you can just chill.”

6And if you don’t honor your folks, you’re good. You’ve totally made God’s rules useless with your traditions.

7Y’all are such hypocrites; Esaias was lowkey spitting facts about you when he said,

8“These people talk a big game with their mouths and give me lip service, but their hearts are sus.”

9They’re just wasting their time worshiping me, teaching human rules instead of my truth.

10Then he called the crowd and was like, “Listen up and get it!”

11It's not what you eat that makes you sus; it's the words that come outta your mouth that hit different.

12Then the squad came through and was like, "Yo, did you see that? The Pharisees were totally offended by that."

13But he clapped back, saying, "Every plant my Father didn't plant is getting yeeted."

14Just leave them be; they're blind leading the blind. If the blind lead the blind, they’re both gonna flop hard.

15Then Peter was like, "Ayo, break down this parable for us."

16And Jesus was like, "Y’all still not getting it, huh?"

17Don't you realize that whatever goes in your mouth goes to your stomach and gets tossed out?

18But what comes outta your mouth is from the heart, and that’s what messes you up.

19'Cause from the heart come all the bad vibes: evil thoughts, murders, cheating, hookups, stealing, lies, and blasphemy.

20These are the things that mess a person up: eating with dirty hands? Nah, that ain't it.

21Then Jesus dipped and headed to the coastlines of Tyre and Sidon.

22And outta nowhere, a Canaanite woman showed up, begging him, "Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter’s dealing with some serious bad vibes."

23But he didn’t say a word. His crew came to him, like, "Yo, send her away; she’s all up in our business."

24He replied, "I’m only here for the lost sheep of Israel, no cap."

25Then she came and worshipped him, saying, "Lord, help me, fr."

26But he said, "It’s not right to take the kids' bread and throw it to the dogs."

27She shot back, "True, Lord; but even the dogs get the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."

28Then Jesus replied, "O woman, your faith is lit: it’s gonna be just as you want." And her daughter was healed right then and there.

29And Jesus bounced from there, cruised over to the Sea of Galilee, and climbed a mountain to chill.

30And huge crowds rolled up to him, bringing their peeps who were lame, blind, mute, and all sorts of others, and they laid them at Jesus’ feet; and he healed them, straight up.

31The crowd was shook when they saw the mute talking, the broken healed, the lame walking, and the blind seeing: and they gave mad props to the God of Israel.

32Then Jesus was like, "Yo, come here, fam. I feel for this crowd, they've been with me for three days and they're starving: I can't just send them away empty, or they'll pass out."

33His disciples were like, "Where are we gonna find enough bread in the wild to feed all these peeps?"

34Jesus asked them, "How many loaves you got?" They replied, "Seven, and some tiny fish."

35Then he told the crowd to chill and sit down on the ground.

36He took the seven loaves and fish, gave thanks, broke them, and passed them to his disciples, who then shared with the crowd.

37Everyone ate and was full: they even collected seven baskets of leftovers.

38Those who ate were four thousand men, not counting the women and kids.

39After that, he sent the crowd away, hopped on a boat, and cruised over to Magdala.

1Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying,

2Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread.

3But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition?

4For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.

5But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me;

6And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.

7Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying,

8This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.

9But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.

10And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand:

11Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

12Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying?

13But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up.

14Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

15Then answered Peter and said unto him, Declare unto us this parable.

16And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without understanding?

17Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?

18But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

19For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

20These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.

21Then Jesus went thence, and departed into the coasts of Tyre and Sidon.

22And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou Son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil.

23But he answered her not a word. And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us.

24But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

25Then came she and worshipped him, saying, Lord, help me.

26But he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children’s bread, and to cast it to dogs.

27And she said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.

28Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.

29And Jesus departed from thence, and came nigh unto the sea of Galilee; and went up into a mountain, and sat down there.

30And great multitudes came unto him, having with them those that were lame, blind, dumb, maimed, and many others, and cast them down at Jesus’ feet; and he healed them:

31Insomuch that the multitude wondered, when they saw the dumb to speak, the maimed to be whole, the lame to walk, and the blind to see: and they glorified the God of Israel.

32Then Jesus called his disciples unto him, and said, I have compassion on the multitude, because they continue with me now three days, and have nothing to eat: and I will not send them away fasting, lest they faint in the way.

33And his disciples say unto him, Whence should we have so much bread in the wilderness, as to fill so great a multitude?

34And Jesus saith unto them, How many loaves have ye? And they said, Seven, and a few little fishes.

35And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground.

36And he took the seven loaves and the fishes, and gave thanks, and brake them, and gave to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.

37And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets full.

38And they that did eat were four thousand men, beside women and children.

39And he sent away the multitude, and took ship, and came into the coasts of Magdala.