1The whole squad got up and took him to Pilate, no cap.

2They started throwing shade, saying, "This dude's messing with the nation and telling people not to pay taxes to Caesar, claiming he's the King, fr."

3Pilate was like, "Are you the King of the Jews?" And Jesus was like, "You said it, fam."

4Pilate told the chief priests and the crowd, "I see no issue with this guy, periodt."

5But they got even more savage, saying, "He's hyping up the people, teaching all over Judea, starting from Galilee to here."

6When Pilate heard "Galilee," he was like, "Is this dude from there?"

7As soon as he figured out Jesus was under Herod's zone, he sent him to Herod, who was also in Jerusalem at the time.

8When Herod saw Jesus, he was so hyped; he had been wanting to see him for a minute because he'd heard so much about him and wanted to see some lit miracle.

9Then he started asking him a bunch of questions, but Jesus just stayed silent, no rizz.

10The chief priests and scribes were standing there, going hard, accusing him like it was a whole vibe.

11Herod and his crew were straight up disrespecting him, making fun, and dripped him in a fly robe before sending him back to Pilate.

12That same day, Pilate and Herod became besties, 'cause they were lowkey beefing before.

13Pilate called up the top priests, rulers, and the squad to huddle up.

14He said, "You brought this dude to me like he’s messing with the people, but fr, I’ve checked him and found no cap on what you’re saying."

15Not even Herod found anything wrong with him; I sent him over, and nothing he did deserves a death sentence.

16So I'm gonna give him a little smackdown and let him go.

17(He had to let one go during the feast, no cap.)

18Everyone started shouting at once, "Get rid of this guy and let Barabbas out!"

19(Barabbas was locked up for stirring up trouble and murder, just saying.)

20Pilate, wanting to let Jesus go, tried talking to them again.

21They were like, "Crucify him, crucify him," no cap.

22He asked them again, "Why though? What’s the drama? I ain't found anything to make him go. I’ll just give him a little timeout and let him bounce."

23They kept shouting loud, demanding he gets crucified. The crowd and the chief priests were straight up overpowering.

24Pilate was like, "Aight, do what you gotta do."

25He let go the dude who was in jail for causing chaos and murder, the one they wanted; but he gave Jesus up to their vibes.

26As they took him away, they grabbed this dude Simon from Cyrene, who was just chillin’, and made him carry the cross after Jesus.

27A big crew of people followed him, including women who were crying and feeling all the feels.

28Jesus turned to them and said, "Yo, Daughters of Jerusalem, don’t cry for me, cry for yourselves and your kids."

29'Cause for real, days are coming when people will be like, "Blessed are those who never had kids, and the ones who never nursed."

30Then they’ll start saying to the mountains, "Fall on us!" and to the hills, "Cover us!"

31If they’re doing this mess when things are chill, what’s gonna happen when it gets rough?

32And there were two other dudes, total criminals, getting led to be executed with him.

33When they got to the spot called Calvary, they nailed him up, and the criminals were one on the right and one on the left.

34Then Jesus was like, "Yo, Dad, forgive them; they don’t even know what’s going on." They split up his clothes and rolled dice for them.

35The crowd was just watching. And the leaders were throwing shade at him, saying, "He saved others; let’s see if he can save himself if he’s really the GOAT."

36The soldiers were also roasting him, coming up and offering him vinegar, like, "This is all we got."

37They were like, "If you’re the king of the Jews, save yourself, fam."

38They even put a sign above him in Greek, Latin, and Hebrew that said, "THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS."

39One of the criminals hanging there was like, "If you’re the Christ, save yourself and us too."

40But the other criminal was like, "Bro, don’t you fear God? We’re in the same boat here."

41We totally deserve this; we’re just getting what we earned. But this dude did nothing wrong, fr.

42He’s like, “Yo Jesus, remember me when you pop off in your kingdom.”

43Jesus replied, “For real, today you and me are vibing in paradise.”

44It was around six o'clock, and everything was dark until nine. Super sus vibes.

45The sun was like, “Nah,” and the temple curtain ripped right down the middle.

46When Jesus yelled out loud, he said, “Dad, I’m handing my spirit to you,” and then he was out.

47The centurion saw what went down and was like, “This guy was definitely legit.”

48Everyone who showed up to watch was shook, beating their chests and heading home.

49All his friends and the ladies from Galilee were standing back, just taking it all in.

50And check it, there was this dude named Joseph, a counselor; he was a good guy, no cap.

51This dude wasn’t about their drama; he was from Arimathea, a Jewish city, just waiting for the kingdom of God to pop off.

52So he rolled up to Pilate, asking for Jesus' body like, "Yo, let me get that."

53He took it down, wrapped it in linen, and laid it in this dope stone tomb that no one had ever chilled in before.

54That day was all about getting ready, and the Sabbath was coming in hot.

55The women who came with him from Galilee were vibing behind, checking out the tomb and how his body was laid down.

56They bounced back, prepped some spices and ointments, then kicked it on the Sabbath, keeping it real with the commandment.

1And the whole multitude of them arose, and led him unto Pilate.

2And they began to accuse him, saying, We found this fellow perverting the nation, and forbidding to give tribute to Cesar, saying that he himself is Christ a King.

3And Pilate asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And he answered him and said, Thou sayest it.

4Then said Pilate to the chief priests and to the people, I find no fault in this man.

5And they were the more fierce, saying, He stirreth up the people, teaching throughout all Jewry, beginning from Galilee to this place.

6When Pilate heard of Galilee, he asked whether the man were a Galilean.

7And as soon as he knew that he belonged unto Herod’s jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who himself also was at Jerusalem at that time.

8And when Herod saw Jesus, he was exceeding glad: for he was desirous to see him of a long season, because he had heard many things of him; and he hoped to have seen some miracle done by him.

9Then he questioned with him in many words; but he answered him nothing.

10And the chief priests and scribes stood and vehemently accused him.

11And Herod with his men of war set him at nought, and mocked him, and arrayed him in a gorgeous robe, and sent him again to Pilate.

12And the same day Pilate and Herod were made friends together: for before they were at enmity between themselves.

13And Pilate, when he had called together the chief priests and the rulers and the people,

14Said unto them, Ye have brought this man unto me, as one that perverteth the people: and, behold, I, having examined him before you, have found no fault in this man touching those things whereof ye accuse him:

15No, nor yet Herod: for I sent you to him; and, lo, nothing worthy of death is done unto him.

16I will therefore chastise him, and release him.

17(For of necessity he must release one unto them at the feast.)

18And they cried out all at once, saying, Away with this man, and release unto us Barabbas:

19(Who for a certain sedition made in the city, and for murder, was cast into prison.)

20Pilate therefore, willing to release Jesus, spake again to them.

21But they cried, saying, Crucify him, crucify him.

22And he said unto them the third time, Why, what evil hath he done? I have found no cause of death in him: I will therefore chastise him, and let him go.

23And they were instant with loud voices, requiring that he might be crucified. And the voices of them and of the chief priests prevailed.

24And Pilate gave sentence that it should be as they required.

25And he released unto them him that for sedition and murder was cast into prison, whom they had desired; but he delivered Jesus to their will.

26And as they led him away, they laid hold upon one Simon, a Cyrenian, coming out of the country, and on him they laid the cross, that he might bear it after Jesus.

27And there followed him a great company of people, and of women, which also bewailed and lamented him.

28But Jesus turning unto them said, Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children.

29For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck.

30Then shall they begin to say to the mountains, Fall on us; and to the hills, Cover us.

31For if they do these things in a green tree, what shall be done in the dry?

32And there were also two other, malefactors, led with him to be put to death.

33And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left.

34Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

35And the people stood beholding. And the rulers also with them derided him, saying, He saved others; let him save himself, if he be Christ, the chosen of God.

36And the soldiers also mocked him, coming to him, and offering him vinegar,

37And saying, If thou be the king of the Jews, save thyself.

38And a superscription also was written over him in letters of Greek, and Latin, and Hebrew, THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.

39And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.

40But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?

41And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.

42And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.

43And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.

44And it was about the sixth hour, and there was a darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour.

45And the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst.

46And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.

47Now when the centurion saw what was done, he glorified God, saying, Certainly this was a righteous man.

48And all the people that came together to that sight, beholding the things which were done, smote their breasts, and returned.

49And all his acquaintance, and the women that followed him from Galilee, stood afar off, beholding these things.

50And, behold, there was a man named Joseph, a counsellor; and he was a good man, and a just:

51(The same had not consented to the counsel and deed of them;) he was of Arimathea, a city of the Jews: who also himself waited for the kingdom of God.

52This man went unto Pilate, and begged the body of Jesus.

53And he took it down, and wrapped it in linen, and laid it in a sepulchre that was hewn in stone, wherein never man before was laid.

54And that day was the preparation, and the sabbath drew on.

55And the women also, which came with him from Galilee, followed after, and beheld the sepulchre, and how his body was laid.

56And they returned, and prepared spices and ointments; and rested the sabbath day according to the commandment.