Gen Z: Leviticus 19
1And the Lord hit up Moses, saying,
2Tell the whole squad of Israel, "Y'all gotta be holy 'cause I, the Lord your God, am holy. No cap."
3Respect your mom and dad, and keep my sabbaths: I’m the Lord your God, fam.
4Don’t mess with idols or make any lit molten gods: I’m the Lord your God, for real.
5If you wanna offer peace offerings to the Lord, do it on your own vibe.
6Eat it the same day you offer it, and the next day; if any’s left by day three, it’s gotta go in the fire, no cap.
7If you munch on it on the third day, that’s sus; it ain’t gonna be accepted.
8Anyone who eats it will carry their guilt 'cause they disrespected the holy thing of the Lord: that person’s getting cut off from the squad.
9When you harvest your land, don’t fully reap the corners of your field, and don’t pick up the leftovers.
10Don’t pick your vineyard clean, leave some grapes for the poor and the stranger: I’m the Lord your God, periodt.
11No cap, don’t steal, don’t be shady, and keep it real with each other.
12Don’t swear by my name and keep it sus; I’m the Lord, remember that.
13Don’t shortchange your neighbor or rob them; pay your workers before you hit the sack.
14Don’t throw shade at the deaf or trip up the blind; show some respect for your God: I’m the Lord.
15Keep it 100 in judgment; don’t play favorites, whether they’re broke or ballin’.
16Don’t be a gossip in the crew; don’t stand against your neighbor’s bloodline: I’m the Lord.
17No hate in your heart for your bro; call them out if they’re messing up, don’t let them slide.
18Don’t hold a grudge or get revenge on your peeps; love your neighbor like you love yourself: I’m the Lord.
19Keep my rules, fam. Don’t mix your cattle or plant diverse seeds; don’t wear mixed fabrics, periodt.
20If someone sleeps with a woman who’s a servant and engaged but hasn’t been freed, they’ll get punished; no death penalty since she ain’t free.
21Bring that trespass offering to the Lord, like a ram at the door of the tabernacle. Vibes check.
22The priest is gonna make it right with that ram for your sins, and no cap, you’ll be forgiven.
23When you roll into the land and plant all those food trees, just know the fruit’s on pause for three years.
24But in year four, all the fruit is holy, so you gotta praise the Lord with it. Lit!
25In year five, chow down on that fruit, 'cause it’s gonna bless you. I’m the Lord, your God, fr.
26No eating anything with blood, and don’t mess with enchantments or timelines. Periodt.
27Don’t be rounding the corners of your heads or messing with your beard, fam.
28No cutting your flesh for the dead or getting inked up; I’m the Lord.
29Don’t sell out your daughter to be a whore, or the land's gonna be sus with wickedness.
30Keep my sabbaths and show respect for my sanctuary; I’m the Lord, no cap.
31Don't mess with those who vibe with spirits, or hit up wizards, 'cause that’s sus: I’m your God, no cap.
32Always show respect to the OGs, honor the elders, and keep it real with your God: I’m the Lord.
33If a stranger's chillin' in your hood, don’t stress them out.
34Treat the stranger like fam, love them like yourself; remember you were once outsiders in Egypt: I’m your God.
35No shady moves in judgment, measuring, or weighing stuff, keep it 100.
36Keep it fair with your balances and weights, I’m the Lord your God who brought you outta Egypt.
37So, keep all my rules and vibes, and do them: I’m the Lord.