Jeremiah 29

Gen Z: Jeremiah 29

1Yo, these are the vibes from the letter Jeremiah dropped from Jerusalem to the squad of elders who got taken captive, plus the priests, prophets, and all the peeps Nebuchadnezzar snatched up and brought to Babylon;

2(After Jeconiah the king, the queen, the eunuchs, and the princes of Judah and Jerusalem, along with the carpenters and smiths, bounced from Jerusalem;)

3By the hand of Elasah, Shaphan's kid, and Gemariah, Hilkiah's son, (who Zedekiah, king of Judah, sent to Babylon to Nebuchadnezzar) saying,

4The Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, is saying to all y’all who got taken captive, "I made you go from Jerusalem to Babylon;"

5Build some houses and chill in them; plant gardens and munch on the fruit, fam;

6Find wives and have kids; hook your sons up with wives and give your daughters to husbands, so you can grow the fam and not shrink, no cap.

7And seek the peace of the city where I sent you as captives, and pray to the Lord for it: 'cause in its peace, you’ll find your peace, fr.

8The Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, says, "Don’t let your prophets and diviners in your crew trick you, and don’t listen to the dreams you’re dreaming."

9They’re prophesying fake news in my name: I did not send them, says the Lord.

10The Lord says, "After seventy years in Babylon, I’ll show up and keep it 100 with you, bringing you back to this spot."

11I got the vibes for you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, not bad vibes, to give you a lit future.

12You gonna call on me, and pray to me, and I’ll totally listen, no cap.

13You’ll seek me, and find me, when you go all in with your heart, periodt.

14I’ll be here for you, says the Lord: I’m turning your situation around, gathering you from everywhere I sent you, and bringing you back home.

15You said, "The Lord’s got prophets in Babylon," and that’s real.

16Just know the Lord’s talking about the king on David’s throne, and all the peeps in this city, and your fam who didn’t go into captivity.

17The Lord of hosts says, “Check it out, I’m sending them the sword, famine, and pestilence, making them like bad figs that are sus and inedible.”

18I’ll go hard on them with the sword, famine, and pestilence, and they’ll be sent to all the kingdoms as a straight-up curse and a joke, fr.

19They didn’t listen to my words, says the Lord, the ones I sent through my prophets, always trying to get their attention; but you didn’t wanna hear me, says the Lord.

20So listen up to the word of the Lord, all you in captivity, whom I sent from Jerusalem to Babylon:

21God’s like, "Yo fam, Ahab and Zedekiah are out here lying in my name. Bet, I’m handing them over to Nebuchadrezzar, and he’s gonna take them out right in front of you."

22All the peeps in Babylon are gonna throw shade at them, saying, "The Lord make you like Zedekiah and Ahab, who the king of Babylon straight-up roasted."

23They’ve been super sus in Israel, cheating with their homies’ wives, and lying in my name, which I never told them to do; I see all, and I’m a witness, says the Lord.

24You gotta hit up Shemaiah the Nehelamite with this message, saying,

25The Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, is saying, "You sent letters in your name to everyone in Jerusalem, including Zephaniah the priest, and all the priests, saying,

26The Lord made you priest instead of Jehoiada, so you should be the ones in charge at the Lord's house, keeping the crazies who think they’re prophets locked up."

27So why haven’t you called out Jeremiah from Anathoth, who’s acting like a prophet for you?

28He sent us a message in Babylon saying, "This captivity is long; build houses, chill in them, plant gardens, and enjoy the fruit."

29Zephaniah the priest read this letter to Jeremiah the prophet.

30Then the Lord hit up Jeremiah with a word, saying,

31Yo, send this to all the homies in the trap: The Lord’s got a message about Shemaiah the Nehelamite. Dude's been prophesying and I didn’t even send him, and now y’all are trusting in a total lie, no cap.

32So here’s the tea from the Lord: I’m about to roast Shemaiah the Nehelamite and his fam. No one from his squad is gonna chill with this crew, and he won't see the good vibes I’m bringing to my people, periodt, 'cause he’s been spreading that rebellion against the Lord.

KJV: Jeremiah 29

1Now these are the words of the letter that Jeremiah the prophet sent from Jerusalem unto the residue of the elders which were carried away captives, and to the priests, and to the prophets, and to all the people whom Nebuchadnezzar had carried away captive from Jerusalem to Babylon;

2(After that Jeconiah the king, and the queen, and the eunuchs, the princes of Judah and Jerusalem, and the carpenters, and the smiths, were departed from Jerusalem;)

3By the hand of Elasah the son of Shaphan, and Gemariah the son of Hilkiah, (whom Zedekiah king of Judah sent unto Babylon to Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon) saying,

4Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, unto all that are carried away captives, whom I have caused to be carried away from Jerusalem unto Babylon;

5Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them;

6Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished.

7And seek the peace of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away captives, and pray unto the Lord for it: for in the peace thereof shall ye have peace.

8For thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel; Let not your prophets and your diviners, that be in the midst of you, deceive you, neither hearken to your dreams which ye cause to be dreamed.

9For they prophesy falsely unto you in my name: I have not sent them, saith the Lord.

10For thus saith the Lord, That after seventy years be accomplished at Babylon I will visit you, and perform my good word toward you, in causing you to return to this place.

11For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

12Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.

13And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

14And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the Lord; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.

15Because ye have said, The Lord hath raised us up prophets in Babylon;

16Know that thus saith the Lord of the king that sitteth upon the throne of David, and of all the people that dwelleth in this city, and of your brethren that are not gone forth with you into captivity;

17Thus saith the Lord of hosts; Behold, I will send upon them the sword, the famine, and the pestilence, and will make them like vile figs, that cannot be eaten, they are so evil.

18And I will persecute them with the sword, with the famine, and with the pestilence, and will deliver them to be removed to all the kingdoms of the earth, to be a curse, and an astonishment, and an hissing, and a reproach, among all the nations whither I have driven them:

19Because they have not hearkened to my words, saith the Lord, which I sent unto them by my servants the prophets, rising up early and sending them; but ye would not hear, saith the Lord.

20Hear ye therefore the word of the Lord, all ye of the captivity, whom I have sent from Jerusalem to Babylon:

21Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, of Ahab the son of Kolaiah, and of Zedekiah the son of Maaseiah, which prophesy a lie unto you in my name; Behold, I will deliver them into the hand of Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon; and he shall slay them before your eyes;

22And of them shall be taken up a curse by all the captivity of Judah which are in Babylon, saying, The Lord make thee like Zedekiah and like Ahab, whom the king of Babylon roasted in the fire;

23Because they have committed villany in Israel, and have committed adultery with their neighbours’ wives, and have spoken lying words in my name, which I have not commanded them; even I know, and am a witness, saith the Lord.

24Thus shalt thou also speak to Shemaiah the Nehelamite, saying,

25Thus speaketh the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, saying, Because thou hast sent letters in thy name unto all the people that are at Jerusalem, and to Zephaniah the son of Maaseiah the priest, and to all the priests, saying,

26The Lord hath made thee priest in the stead of Jehoiada the priest, that ye should be officers in the house of the Lord, for every man that is mad, and maketh himself a prophet, that thou shouldest put him in prison, and in the stocks.

27Now therefore why hast thou not reproved Jeremiah of Anathoth, which maketh himself a prophet to you?

28For therefore he sent unto us in Babylon, saying, This captivity is long: build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them.

29And Zephaniah the priest read this letter in the ears of Jeremiah the prophet.

30Then came the word of the Lord unto Jeremiah, saying,

31Send to all them of the captivity, saying, Thus saith the Lord concerning Shemaiah the Nehelamite; Because that Shemaiah hath prophesied unto you, and I sent him not, and he caused you to trust in a lie:

32Therefore thus saith the Lord; Behold, I will punish Shemaiah the Nehelamite, and his seed: he shall not have a man to dwell among this people; neither shall he behold the good that I will do for my people, saith the Lord; because he hath taught rebellion against the Lord.

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