Gen Z: Jeremiah 28
1So, like, in the same year when Zedekiah was king of Judah, in the fourth year and fifth month, Hananiah the prophet from Gibeon hit me up at the Lord's house, with all the priests and people listening, saying,
2The Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, is like, "I just broke the king of Babylon's vibe."
3In two years, I'm bringing back all the stuff from the Lord's house that Nebuchadnezzar took to Babylon, no cap.
4I'm also bringing back Jeconiah, son of Jehoiakim, king of Judah, and all the captives from Babylon, says the Lord, 'cause I'm breaking that Babylonian yoke.
5Then Jeremiah was like, “Yo, Hananiah, in front of all the priests and people at the Lord's house, listen up.”
6Jeremiah said, “Amen! The Lord's gonna do what you said, bringing back the vessels and all the captives from Babylon.”
7But for real, listen to this word I'm dropping in your ears and everyone else's.
8The old prophets before us called out against many nations and big kingdoms, about war, evil, and pestilence, fr.
9A prophet who talks peace will be known when their word comes true, then you’ll know the Lord sent them, periodt.
10Then Hananiah took the yoke off Jeremiah's neck and smashed it, savage.
11Hananiah told everyone, “The Lord says I'm breaking the yoke of Nebuchadnezzar from all nations in two years.” Then Jeremiah just dipped.
12After Hananiah broke the yoke off Jeremiah, the Lord hit up Jeremiah with a word, saying,
13“Go tell Hananiah this: You broke wooden yokes, but you’re gonna make them iron ones, bet.”
14The Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, said, “I put an iron yoke on these nations so they serve Nebuchadnezzar, and yeah, they will.”
15Jeremiah was like, “Listen, Hananiah, the Lord didn’t send you; you’re making people believe in lies.”
16So the Lord said, “I’m gonna remove you from the earth; this year you’re gonna die for teaching rebellion against Him.”
17And Hananiah died that same year in the seventh month, no cap.