1So, like, Judah dipped from his fam and linked up with this dude Hirah from Adullam.

2He saw this Canaanite girl named Shuah and was like, "Bet," and they got together.

3She got preggo and had a son, and he named him Er.

4Then she got preggo again and had another son, naming him Onan.

5She went for round three, had another son, and named him Shelah while chilling at Chezib.

6Judah snagged a wifey for his firstborn Er, and her name was Tamar.

7But Er was mad sus in the Lord's eyes, so the Lord took him out.

8Judah said to Onan, "Go marry your bro’s wifey and help him out with some kids."

9Onan knew the kids wouldn’t be his, so when he got with his bro's wife, he spilled it on the ground.

10The Lord was not vibing with that, so He took Onan out too.

11Judah told Tamar, "Chill at your dad’s place until Shelah is grown, no cap, don't wanna lose another son."

12Time passed, and Shuah, Judah’s wife, passed away. Judah was feeling better and went to Timnath to shear sheep with Hirah.

13Tamar got the tea that her father-in-law was headed to Timnath to shear his sheep.

14She took off her widow clothes, put on a veil, and sat by the road to Timnath, 'cause she saw Shelah was grown but wasn’t given to him.

15Judah saw her and thought she was a hustler since her face was covered.

16He rolled up to her and was like, "Yo, can I come through?" (He had no idea she was his daughter-in-law.) She asked, "What you gonna give me?"

17He said, "I’ll send you a goat from the flock." She was like, "Bet, but can I get a promise until then?"

18He asked, "What promise do you want?" She said, "Your signet, bracelets, and staff." He gave them to her, and they got together, and she got preggo.

19She bounced, took off the veil, and put on her widow clothes again.

20Judah sent the goat with his homie Hirah to get his stuff back from the woman, but he couldn’t find her.

21He asked the locals, "Where’s the hustler who was chilling by the road?" They were like, "No hustler here, fam."

22He went back to Judah and said, "Can’t find her, and the locals say there’s no hustler."

23Judah was like, "Let her keep it, we don’t wanna be embarrassed. I sent a goat, and she’s MIA."

24A few months later, Judah heard the news: "Tamar’s been acting like a hustler, and she’s preggo." Judah was like, "Bring her out, she should be burned."

25When she was brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law saying, "I’m preggo by the dude who owns these. Check the signet, bracelets, and staff."

26Judah recognized them and said, "She’s more righteous than me, 'cause I didn’t give her to Shelah." He never got with her again.

27When it was time for her to give birth, surprise, she was having twins!

28During her labor, one baby put out his hand, and the midwife tied a red thread on it, saying, "This one’s first."

29But then the other brother came out too, and she was like, "Whoa, you broke out first! You get the name Pharez."

30After that, the other brother came out with the red thread, and they named him Zarah.

1And it came to pass at that time, that Judah went down from his brethren, and turned in to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah.

2And Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite, whose name was Shuah; and he took her, and went in unto her.

3And she conceived, and bare a son; and he called his name Er.

4And she conceived again, and bare a son; and she called his name Onan.

5And she yet again conceived, and bare a son; and called his name Shelah: and he was at Chezib, when she bare him.

6And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar.

7And Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord slew him.

8And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother’s wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

9And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

10And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.

11Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father’s house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father’s house.

12And in process of time the daughter of Shuah Judah’s wife died; and Judah was comforted, and went up unto his sheepshearers to Timnath, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite.

13And it was told Tamar, saying, Behold thy father in law goeth up to Timnath to shear his sheep.

14And she put her widow’s garments off from her, and covered her with a vail, and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place, which is by the way to Timnath; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given unto him to wife.

15When Judah saw her, he thought her to be an harlot; because she had covered her face.

16And he turned unto her by the way, and said, Go to, I pray thee, let me come in unto thee; (for he knew not that she was his daughter in law.) And she said, What wilt thou give me, that thou mayest come in unto me?

17And he said, I will send thee a kid from the flock. And she said, Wilt thou give me a pledge, till thou send it?

18And he said, What pledge shall I give thee? And she said, Thy signet, and thy bracelets, and thy staff that is in thine hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him.

19And she arose, and went away, and laid by her vail from her, and put on the garments of her widowhood.

20And Judah sent the kid by the hand of his friend the Adullamite, to receive his pledge from the woman’s hand: but he found her not.

21Then he asked the men of that place, saying, Where is the harlot, that was openly by the way side? And they said, There was no harlot in this place.

22And he returned to Judah, and said, I cannot find her; and also the men of the place said, that there was no harlot in this place.

23And Judah said, Let her take it to her, lest we be shamed: behold, I sent this kid, and thou hast not found her.

24And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.

25When she was brought forth, she sent to her father in law, saying, By the man, whose these are, am I with child: and she said, Discern, I pray thee, whose are these, the signet, and bracelets, and staff.

26And Judah acknowledged them, and said, She hath been more righteous than I; because that I gave her not to Shelah my son. And he knew her again no more.

27And it came to pass in the time of her travail, that, behold, twins were in her womb.

28And it came to pass, when she travailed, that the one put out his hand: and the midwife took and bound upon his hand a scarlet thread, saying, This came out first.

29And it came to pass, as he drew back his hand, that, behold, his brother came out: and she said, How hast thou broken forth? this breach be upon thee: therefore his name was called Pharez.

30And afterward came out his brother, that had the scarlet thread upon his hand: and his name was called Zarah.