1Moses was like, "No cap, they won't believe me or listen up. They're gonna say, 'God didn't show up for you.'"

2God was like, "Yo, what's in your hand?" Moses was like, "Just a rod, fam."

3God told him to throw it on the ground. He did, and it turned into a snake; Moses dipped out, fr.

4Then God said, "Grab it by the tail." Moses did, and it turned back into a rod in his hand, no cap.

5So they can vibe with the fact that the Lord, the God of their peeps, like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, showed up for you.

6God was like, "Slide your hand into your shirt." Moses did that, and when he pulled it out, it was all leprous like snow.

7Then God said, "Do it again." He put his hand back in and pulled it out, and it was normal again, just like the other one.

8If they don't believe the first sign, they'll definitely vibe with the second one, periodt.

9If they still don't believe these two signs or listen to you, just take some river water and dump it on the dry land; it'll turn into blood, no cap.

10Moses hit God with, "Honestly, I'm not great at speaking, never was, and I'm kinda slow with my words."

11Yo, God’s like, “Who made peeps' mouths? Who’s behind the dumb, deaf, seeing, or blind? Ain’t I the Lord though?”

12So bounce, I got your back and I’ll teach you what to say, no cap.

13Moses was like, “Aight, my Lord, just send whoever you wanna send.”

14God got mad at Moses and was like, “Isn’t Aaron your bro? He’s got mad rizz. He’s coming to meet you and he’ll be hyped to see you.”

15You’ll speak to him and give him the words, and I’ll be with both your mouths, teaching you what to do, periodt.

16He’ll be your hype man to the people, and you’ll be like God to him, fr.

17Grab this rod in your hand, you’ll do some lit signs with it.

18Moses dipped back to Jethro, his father-in-law, and said, “Let me bounce back to my fam in Egypt and see if they’re still alive.” Jethro was like, “Go in peace, fam.”

19God told Moses in Midian, “Go back to Egypt; all the dudes who wanted you gone are dead.”

20Moses packed up his wife and kids on a donkey and headed back to Egypt, rod of God in hand, ready to pop off.

21God told Moses, "When you bounce back to Egypt, flex all those miracles in front of Pharaoh I gave you. But no cap, I’ll harden his heart so he won't let the squad go."

22Just tell Pharaoh, "Yo, the Lord says Israel is my kid, my firstborn."

23"Let my son dip so he can serve me, or I’m coming for your son, your firstborn, fr."

24On the way at the inn, the Lord showed up and was ready to take him out.

25Zipporah grabbed a sharp stone, snipped her son’s foreskin, tossed it at his feet, and was like, "You’re such a bloody husband to me."

26So, He let him go; then she said, "You’re a bloody husband because of the circumcision, no cap."

27The Lord told Aaron, "Slide into the wilderness to meet Moses." He did, met him on God’s mountain, and gave him a kiss.

28Moses dropped all the words from the Lord who sent him, plus all the signs he had to show.

29Then Moses and Aaron gathered all the elders of the Israel crew.

30Aaron shared all the words the Lord had told Moses and did the signs right in front of the people.

31The squad believed, and when they heard that the Lord showed up for the kids of Israel and saw their struggle, they were like, "Respect," and worshipped.

1And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my voice: for they will say, The Lord hath not appeared unto thee.

2And the Lord said unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A rod.

3And he said, Cast it on the ground. And he cast it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from before it.

4And the Lord said unto Moses, Put forth thine hand, and take it by the tail. And he put forth his hand, and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand:

5That they may believe that the Lord God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, hath appeared unto thee.

6And the Lord said furthermore unto him, Put now thine hand into thy bosom. And he put his hand into his bosom: and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous as snow.

7And he said, Put thine hand into thy bosom again. And he put his hand into his bosom again; and plucked it out of his bosom, and, behold, it was turned again as his other flesh.

8And it shall come to pass, if they will not believe thee, neither hearken to the voice of the first sign, that they will believe the voice of the latter sign.

9And it shall come to pass, if they will not believe also these two signs, neither hearken unto thy voice, that thou shalt take of the water of the river, and pour it upon the dry land: and the water which thou takest out of the river shall become blood upon the dry land.

10And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.

11And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord?

12Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.

13And he said, O my Lord, send, I pray thee, by the hand of him whom thou wilt send.

14And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses, and he said, Is not Aaron the Levite thy brother? I know that he can speak well. And also, behold, he cometh forth to meet thee: and when he seeth thee, he will be glad in his heart.

15And thou shalt speak unto him, and put words in his mouth: and I will be with thy mouth, and with his mouth, and will teach you what ye shall do.

16And he shall be thy spokesman unto the people: and he shall be, even he shall be to thee instead of a mouth, and thou shalt be to him instead of God.

17And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do signs.

18And Moses went and returned to Jethro his father in law, and said unto him, Let me go, I pray thee, and return unto my brethren which are in Egypt, and see whether they be yet alive. And Jethro said to Moses, Go in peace.

19And the Lord said unto Moses in Midian, Go, return into Egypt: for all the men are dead which sought thy life.

20And Moses took his wife and his sons, and set them upon an ass, and he returned to the land of Egypt: and Moses took the rod of God in his hand.

21And the Lord said unto Moses, When thou goest to return into Egypt, see that thou do all those wonders before Pharaoh, which I have put in thine hand: but I will harden his heart, that he shall not let the people go.

22And thou shalt say unto Pharaoh, Thus saith the Lord, Israel is my son, even my firstborn:

23And I say unto thee, Let my son go, that he may serve me: and if thou refuse to let him go, behold, I will slay thy son, even thy firstborn.

24And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the Lord met him, and sought to kill him.

25Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me.

26So he let him go: then she said, A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision.

27And the Lord said to Aaron, Go into the wilderness to meet Moses. And he went, and met him in the mount of God, and kissed him.

28And Moses told Aaron all the words of the Lord who had sent him, and all the signs which he had commanded him.

29And Moses and Aaron went and gathered together all the elders of the children of Israel:

30And Aaron spake all the words which the Lord had spoken unto Moses, and did the signs in the sight of the people.

31And the people believed: and when they heard that the Lord had visited the children of Israel, and that he had looked upon their affliction, then they bowed their heads and worshipped.