1So, after he finished chatting with Saul, Jonathan and David were like soul bros, and Jonathan loved him like fam.

2Saul was like, "Nah, you ain't going home today," and kept David close.

3Jonathan and David were tight and made a pact 'cause they loved each other like their own souls.

4Jonathan was like, "Here, take my drip," and gave David his robe, clothes, sword, bow, and belt.

5David was out here doing his thing whenever Saul sent him, and he was wise about it. Saul was like, "You’re my war chief now," and everyone was vibing with David, even Saul's crew.

6When David came back from taking out the Philistine, the women from all over Israel were out here singing and dancing to welcome King Saul, bringing all the good vibes.

7The ladies were hyping each other up, saying, "Saul took down thousands, but David? He’s got ten thousands!"

8Saul was mad salty and didn’t like the hype; he was like, "They’re giving David all the credit, and I’m just sitting here with my thousands. What’s next for him, the whole kingdom?"

9From that day on, Saul was low-key watching David, sus vibes for sure.

10The next day, an evil spirit hit Saul, and he was prophesying in the house while David was playing like usual, and Saul had a javelin ready to throw.

11Saul threw the javelin, like, "I'ma take David out, no cap." But David dodged that twice, savage moves.

12Saul was shook of David, 'cause the Lord was vibing with him and dipped on Saul.

13So Saul switched it up, made David captain over a thousand; he was out there flexing in front of the people.

14David was straight-up wise in all his moves; the Lord was riding with him.

15When Saul peeped how wise David was, he got mad sus.

16But all of Israel and Judah were lowkey obsessed with David, 'cause he was out there showing up for them.

17Saul told David, "Yo, check it, my oldest daughter Merab is yours if you pop off and fight for the Lord. Just know, I'm not taking you out; let the Philistines handle that."

18David replied, "Who am I? What's my life or my fam in Israel that I should be the king's son-in-law?"

19But when the time came for Merab to be given to David, she got hitched to Adriel the Meholathite instead.

20And Michal, Saul's daughter, had major rizz for David; they told Saul, and he was totally down with it.

21Saul was like, "Bet, I’ll hook him up with her to trap him, and the Philistines will come at him. So, David, you’re gonna be my son-in-law today, no cap."

22Saul told his crew, "Yo, go talk to David lowkey and say, 'The king’s vibin’ with you, and all his peeps love you. So, why not be the king's son-in-law?'"

23Saul's homies dropped that on David, and he was like, "Y’all think it’s chill to be a king’s son-in-law when I’m just a broke dude with no rizz?"

24Saul's crew told him what David said.

25Saul was like, "Here’s what you tell David: The king wants no dowry, just a hundred foreskins from the Philistines to get back at my enemies. But for real, I’m just trying to set him up to fail."

26When his crew told David this, he was hyped to be the king’s son-in-law, and the time wasn’t up yet.

27So, David got up with his squad and took out two hundred Philistines; he brought their foreskins back and gave them to the king to be the son-in-law. Saul then gave him Michal, his daughter, as a wife.

28Saul peeped that the Lord was with David and that Michal, his daughter, was totally into him.

29Saul got even more shook of David; he became David’s enemy for real.

30Then the Philistine leaders rolled out, and after they left, David played it smarter than all of Saul’s crew, so everyone was vibing with his name.

1And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

2And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house.

3Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.

4And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.

5And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.

6And it came to pass as they came, when David was returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet king Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with instruments of musick.

7And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.

8And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom?

9And Saul eyed David from that day and forward.

10And it came to pass on the morrow, that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the midst of the house: and David played with his hand, as at other times: and there was a javelin in Saul’s hand.

11And Saul cast the javelin; for he said, I will smite David even to the wall with it. And David avoided out of his presence twice.

12And Saul was afraid of David, because the Lord was with him, and was departed from Saul.

13Therefore Saul removed him from him, and made him his captain over a thousand; and he went out and came in before the people.

14And David behaved himself wisely in all his ways; and the Lord was with him.

15Wherefore when Saul saw that he behaved himself very wisely, he was afraid of him.

16But all Israel and Judah loved David, because he went out and came in before them.

17And Saul said to David, Behold my elder daughter Merab, her will I give thee to wife: only be thou valiant for me, and fight the Lord’s battles. For Saul said, Let not mine hand be upon him, but let the hand of the Philistines be upon him.

18And David said unto Saul, Who am I? and what is my life, or my father’s family in Israel, that I should be son in law to the king?

19But it came to pass at the time when Merab Saul’s daughter should have been given to David, that she was given unto Adriel the Meholathite to wife.

20And Michal Saul’s daughter loved David: and they told Saul, and the thing pleased him.

21And Saul said, I will give him her, that she may be a snare to him, and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him. Wherefore Saul said to David, Thou shalt this day be my son in law in the one of the twain.

22And Saul commanded his servants, saying, Commune with David secretly, and say, Behold, the king hath delight in thee, and all his servants love thee: now therefore be the king’s son in law.

23And Saul’s servants spake those words in the ears of David. And David said, Seemeth it to you a light thing to be a king’s son in law, seeing that I am a poor man, and lightly esteemed?

24And the servants of Saul told him, saying, On this manner spake David.

25And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king’s enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.

26And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son in law: and the days were not expired.

27Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king’s son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.

28And Saul saw and knew that the Lord was with David, and that Michal Saul’s daughter loved him.

29And Saul was yet the more afraid of David; and Saul became David’s enemy continually.

30Then the princes of the Philistines went forth: and it came to pass, after they went forth, that David behaved himself more wisely than all the servants of Saul; so that his name was much set by.