1Yo, the day of the Lord is coming, and all your stuff’s about to get split right in front of you.

2I'm pulling all the nations to throw down against Jerusalem; the city’s getting taken, houses raided, and it’s about to get wild; half the city’s gonna dip into captivity, but the rest ain’t getting cut off.

3Then the Lord’s gonna step up and fight those nations like a real champ in battle.

4His feet are gonna chill on the Mount of Olives, right in front of Jerusalem, and that mountain's gonna split like, whoa, creating a massive valley; half goes north, half goes south.

5You’re gonna bounce to the valley of the mountains; it’s gonna reach Azal, and you’ll run like you did when that earthquake hit back in the day; my God’s rolling up with all the saints.

6On that day, the vibe won’t be clear or dark, just kinda sus.

7But it’ll be a day known to the Lord, not day or night; at evening, it’ll be lit with light.

8That day, living waters are gonna flow from Jerusalem; half to the former sea, half to the hinder sea; summer and winter, it’s gonna be bussin’.

9The Lord will be king over the whole earth; that day, there’ll be one Lord, and His name will be one.

10The land’s gonna turn flat from Geba to Rimmon south of Jerusalem; it’ll be lifted and lived in from Benjamin’s gate to the first gate, and from the tower of Hananeel to the king’s winepresses.

11People are gonna live there, and no more destruction will happen; Jerusalem will be safe and sound.

12This is the plague the Lord’s gonna use against all the people who fought against Jerusalem; their flesh will melt while they’re standing, their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will disintegrate in their mouths.

13On that day, a major chaos from the Lord will hit them; everyone will grab their neighbor’s hand, and their hands will be raised against each other.

14Judah’s gonna throw down in Jerusalem too; all the wealth of the nations around will be gathered, gold, silver, and clothes, in mad abundance.

15The plague will hit the horses, mules, camels, donkeys, and all the beasts in those tents.

16Everyone left from the nations that came against Jerusalem will roll up every year to worship the King, the Lord of hosts, and keep the feast of tabernacles.

17If any fam from the earth doesn’t come to Jerusalem to worship the King, the Lord of hosts, they won’t get any rain.

18And if Egypt’s fam doesn’t roll up, they’ll get hit with the plague; the Lord’s gonna smite the nations that skip out on the feast of tabernacles.

19This is the punishment for Egypt and all the nations that don’t show up for the feast of tabernacles.

20On that day, the bells on the horses will say, HOLINESS UNTO THE LORD; and the pots in the Lord’s house will be like the bowls before the altar.

21For real, every pot in Jerusalem and Judah will be holy to the Lord of hosts; everyone who sacrifices will come and use them, and on that day, there won’t be any Canaanite in the house of the Lord of hosts.

1Behold, the day of the Lord cometh, and thy spoil shall be divided in the midst of thee.

2For I will gather all nations against Jerusalem to battle; and the city shall be taken, and the houses rifled, and the women ravished; and half of the city shall go forth into captivity, and the residue of the people shall not be cut off from the city.

3Then shall the Lord go forth, and fight against those nations, as when he fought in the day of battle.

4And his feet shall stand in that day upon the mount of Olives, which is before Jerusalem on the east, and the mount of Olives shall cleave in the midst thereof toward the east and toward the west, and there shall be a very great valley; and half of the mountain shall remove toward the north, and half of it toward the south.

5And ye shall flee to the valley of the mountains; for the valley of the mountains shall reach unto Azal: yea, ye shall flee, like as ye fled from before the earthquake in the days of Uzziah king of Judah: and the Lord my God shall come, and all the saints with thee.

6And it shall come to pass in that day, that the light shall not be clear, nor dark:

7But it shall be one day which shall be known to the Lord, not day, nor night: but it shall come to pass, that at evening time it shall be light.

8And it shall be in that day, that living waters shall go out from Jerusalem; half of them toward the former sea, and half of them toward the hinder sea: in summer and in winter shall it be.

9And the Lord shall be king over all the earth: in that day shall there be one Lord, and his name one.

10All the land shall be turned as a plain from Geba to Rimmon south of Jerusalem: and it shall be lifted up, and inhabited in her place, from Benjamin’s gate unto the place of the first gate, unto the corner gate, and from the tower of Hananeel unto the king’s winepresses.

11And men shall dwell in it, and there shall be no more utter destruction; but Jerusalem shall be safely inhabited.

12And this shall be the plague wherewith the Lord will smite all the people that have fought against Jerusalem; Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feet, and their eyes shall consume away in their holes, and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth.

13And it shall come to pass in that day, that a great tumult from the Lord shall be among them; and they shall lay hold every one on the hand of his neighbour, and his hand shall rise up against the hand of his neighbour.

14And Judah also shall fight at Jerusalem; and the wealth of all the heathen round about shall be gathered together, gold, and silver, and apparel, in great abundance.

15And so shall be the plague of the horse, of the mule, of the camel, and of the ass, and of all the beasts that shall be in these tents, as this plague.

16And it shall come to pass, that every one that is left of all the nations which came against Jerusalem shall even go up from year to year to worship the King, the Lord of hosts, and to keep the feast of tabernacles.

17And it shall be, that whoso will not come up of all the families of the earth unto Jerusalem to worship the King, the Lord of hosts, even upon them shall be no rain.

18And if the family of Egypt go not up, and come not, that have no rain; there shall be the plague, wherewith the Lord will smite the heathen that come not up to keep the feast of tabernacles.

19This shall be the punishment of Egypt, and the punishment of all nations that come not up to keep the feast of tabernacles.

20In that day shall there be upon the bells of the horses, HOLINESS UNTO THE LORD; and the pots in the Lord’s house shall be like the bowls before the altar.

21Yea, every pot in Jerusalem and in Judah shall be holiness unto the Lord of hosts: and all they that sacrifice shall come and take of them, and seethe therein: and in that day there shall be no more the Canaanite in the house of the Lord of hosts.