1After the plague hit, the Lord was like, "Yo, Moses and Eleazar, listen up."

2Count up all the peeps in Israel who are twenty and older and can throw down in battle.

3Moses and Eleazar were chatting with the crew in Moab by the Jordan near Jericho, saying,

4Count the squad from twenty and up, just like the Lord told Moses about the Israelites who bounced from Egypt.

5Reuben, the OG son of Israel: the fam of Reuben; Hanoch, where the Hanochites come from; then there's Pallu and the Palluites:

6Hezron, the fam of the Hezronites; and Carmi, the fam of the Carmites.

7These are the Reuben fams: they counted up to forty-three thousand seven hundred and thirty.

8And Pallu's kid? Eliab.

9Eliab's kids: Nemuel, Dathan, and Abiram. Yeah, that's the Dathan and Abiram who were famous for beefing with Moses and Aaron with Korah's crew, going against the Lord.

10Then the earth just opened up and swallowed them and Korah whole when that crew got taken out, and fire roasted two hundred and fifty dudes: they became a whole sign.

11But like, the kids of Korah totally didn’t bite the dust.

12The sons of Simeon, keepin' it real: Nemuel's crew, the Nemuelites; Jamin's squad, the Jaminites; Jachin's fam, the Jachinites.

13Then there's Zerah's gang, the Zarhites; and Shaul's peeps, the Shaulites.

14These are the Simeonites' fams, rollin' with 22,200 members.

15The kids of Gad, reppin' their fams: Zephon's crew, the Zephonites; Haggi's squad, the Haggites; Shuni's peeps, the Shunites.

16Then you got Ozni's fam, the Oznites; and Eri's crew, the Erites.

17Arod's gang, the Arodites; and Areli's fam, the Arelites.

18These are the fams of Gad's kids, with a headcount of 40,500.

19Judah's sons were Er and Onan, but they didn’t make it in Canaan, no cap.

20And Judah's fams were Shelah's crew, the Shelanites; Pharez's squad, the Pharzites; and Zerah's gang, the Zarhites.

21Yo, Pharez's crew is Hezron and the Hezronites, then Hamul and the Hamulites.

22These fams of Judah got counted, and it’s a whole 16,500 vibes.

23For Issachar's squad: Tola, the Tolaites, and Pua, the Punites, no cap.

24Jashub's fam is the Jashubites, and Shimron's crew is the Shimronites, fr.

25Issachar's fams got counted, and it’s a solid 4,300, lit.

26Zebulun's fams roll deep: Sered, the Sardites; Elon, the Elonites; Jahleel, the Jahleelites.

27Zebulunites got counted, coming in at 30,500, periodt.

28Joseph's fams are Manasseh and Ephraim, straight up.

29For Manasseh: Machir, the Machirites; and Machir had Gilead, who brought the Gileadites, pop off.

30Gilead's sons are Jeezer, the Jeezerites; and Helek, the Helekites, savage.

31Yo, Asriel's fam is the Asrielites, and Shechem's crew is the Shechemites.

32Shemida's squad is the Shemidaites, and Hepher's fam is the Hepherites.

33Zelophehad, Hepher's kid, had no sons, just daughters: Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah, no cap.

34These are the Manasseh fams, and they counted up to 52,700. Lit numbers.

35Ephraim's sons by fams: Shuthelah's crew, the Shuthalhites; Becher's gang, the Bachrites; Tahan's squad, the Tahanites.

36And Shuthelah's sons? Eran's fam, the Eranites, poppin' off.

37Ephraim's fams counted up to 32,500. These are Joseph's sons, fr.

38Benjamin's fams: Bela's crew, the Belaites; Ashbel's squad, the Ashbelites; Ahiram's gang, the Ahiramites.

39Shupham's fam, the Shuphamites; Hupham's crew, the Huphamites, savage.

40Bela's sons were Ard and Naaman: Ard's fam, the Ardites; Naaman's crew, the Naamites, periodt.

41These are the fams of Benjamin, and they were flexing with forty-five thousand six hundred. No cap.

42These are the fams of Dan, starting with Shuham, the Shuhamites. Just the fams of Dan, you feel?

43All the Shuhamite fams added up to sixty-four thousand four hundred. That's bussin'.

44For Asher's crew: Jimna, the Jimnites; Jesui, the Jesuites; Beriah, the Beriites. Major vibes.

45Beriah’s sons: Heber, the Heberites; Malchiel, the Malchielites. Rizz on deck.

46Oh, and Asher's daughter was named Sarah. Just a cute name, fr.

47These are the fams of Asher, and they were fifty-three thousand four hundred strong. Pop off!

48For Naphtali's fams: Jahzeel, the Jahzeelites; Guni, the Gunites, keeping it real.

49Jezer's fam, the Jezerites; Shillem's fam, the Shillemites. They’re all in the mix.

50These are the fams of Naphtali, and they were forty-five thousand four hundred deep. Lit!

51There were like six hundred thousand and a thousand seven hundred and thirty of the Israel squad. That’s wild.

52And the Lord hit up Moses, saying,

53The land’s gonna be split up for an inheritance based on the squad’s names.

54Give more land to the big crews and less to the small ones: everyone gets what’s due based on their count, no cap.

55But for real, the land’s gonna be divided by lot: tribes of their fams will get their piece.

56The land will be split up based on the lot, whether there’s a lot of peeps or just a few.

57And these are the Levites counted by their fams: Gershon, the Gershonites; Kohath, the Kohathites; Merari, the Merarites.

58These are the Levite fams: Libnites, Hebronites, Mahlites, Mushites, Korathites. And Kohath had a son named Amram.

59Amram’s wifey was Jochebed, Levi’s daughter, who was born to Levi in Egypt: she gave birth to Aaron, Moses, and their sister Miriam.

60And Aaron had kids: Nadab, Abihu, Eleazar, and Ithamar.

61Nadab and Abihu straight up ghosted after they brought that sus fire to the Lord.

62They counted 23k of the guys, all one month old and up, but they weren’t vibin’ with the Israelites since they got no inheritance.

63Moses and Eleazar the priest were the ones counting the Israelites chillin’ in Moab by the Jordan near Jericho.

64But none of these dudes got counted by Moses and Aaron in the Sinai wilderness.

65The Lord was like, "They’re gonna ghost in the wilderness," and only Caleb and Joshua made it out.

1And it came to pass after the plague, that the Lord spake unto Moses and unto Eleazar the son of Aaron the priest, saying,

2Take the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel, from twenty years old and upward, throughout their fathers’ house, all that are able to go to war in Israel.

3And Moses and Eleazar the priest spake with them in the plains of Moab by Jordan near Jericho, saying,

4Take the sum of the people, from twenty years old and upward; as the Lord commanded Moses and the children of Israel, which went forth out of the land of Egypt.

5Reuben, the eldest son of Israel: the children of Reuben; Hanoch, of whom cometh the family of the Hanochites: of Pallu, the family of the Palluites:

6Of Hezron, the family of the Hezronites: of Carmi, the family of the Carmites.

7These are the families of the Reubenites: and they that were numbered of them were forty and three thousand and seven hundred and thirty.

8And the sons of Pallu; Eliab.

9And the sons of Eliab; Nemuel, and Dathan, and Abiram. This is that Dathan and Abiram, which were famous in the congregation, who strove against Moses and against Aaron in the company of Korah, when they strove against the Lord:

10And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up together with Korah, when that company died, what time the fire devoured two hundred and fifty men: and they became a sign.

11Notwithstanding the children of Korah died not.

12The sons of Simeon after their families: of Nemuel, the family of the Nemuelites: of Jamin, the family of the Jaminites: of Jachin, the family of the Jachinites:

13Of Zerah, the family of the Zarhites: of Shaul, the family of the Shaulites.

14These are the families of the Simeonites, twenty and two thousand and two hundred.

15The children of Gad after their families: of Zephon, the family of the Zephonites: of Haggi, the family of the Haggites: of Shuni, the family of the Shunites:

16Of Ozni, the family of the Oznites: of Eri, the family of the Erites:

17Of Arod, the family of the Arodites: of Areli, the family of the Arelites.

18These are the families of the children of Gad according to those that were numbered of them, forty thousand and five hundred.

19The sons of Judah were Er and Onan: and Er and Onan died in the land of Canaan.

20And the sons of Judah after their families were; of Shelah, the family of the Shelanites: of Pharez, the family of the Pharzites: of Zerah, the family of the Zarhites.

21And the sons of Pharez were; of Hezron, the family of the Hezronites: of Hamul, the family of the Hamulites.

22These are the families of Judah according to those that were numbered of them, threescore and sixteen thousand and five hundred.

23Of the sons of Issachar after their families: of Tola, the family of the Tolaites: of Pua, the family of the Punites:

24Of Jashub, the family of the Jashubites: of Shimron, the family of the Shimronites.

25These are the families of Issachar according to those that were numbered of them, threescore and four thousand and three hundred.

26Of the sons of Zebulun after their families: of Sered, the family of the Sardites: of Elon, the family of the Elonites: of Jahleel, the family of the Jahleelites.

27These are the families of the Zebulunites according to those that were numbered of them, threescore thousand and five hundred.

28The sons of Joseph after their families were Manasseh and Ephraim.

29Of the sons of Manasseh: of Machir, the family of the Machirites: and Machir begat Gilead: of Gilead come the family of the Gileadites.

30These are the sons of Gilead: of Jeezer, the family of the Jeezerites: of Helek, the family of the Helekites:

31And of Asriel, the family of the Asrielites: and of Shechem, the family of the Shechemites:

32And of Shemida, the family of the Shemidaites: and of Hepher, the family of the Hepherites.

33And Zelophehad the son of Hepher had no sons, but daughters: and the names of the daughters of Zelophehad were Mahlah, and Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.

34These are the families of Manasseh, and those that were numbered of them, fifty and two thousand and seven hundred.

35These are the sons of Ephraim after their families: of Shuthelah, the family of the Shuthalhites: of Becher, the family of the Bachrites: of Tahan, the family of the Tahanites.

36And these are the sons of Shuthelah: of Eran, the family of the Eranites.

37These are the families of the sons of Ephraim according to those that were numbered of them, thirty and two thousand and five hundred. These are the sons of Joseph after their families.

38The sons of Benjamin after their families: of Bela, the family of the Belaites: of Ashbel, the family of the Ashbelites: of Ahiram, the family of the Ahiramites:

39Of Shupham, the family of the Shuphamites: of Hupham, the family of the Huphamites.

40And the sons of Bela were Ard and Naaman: of Ard, the family of the Ardites: and of Naaman, the family of the Naamites.

41These are the sons of Benjamin after their families: and they that were numbered of them were forty and five thousand and six hundred.

42These are the sons of Dan after their families: of Shuham, the family of the Shuhamites. These are the families of Dan after their families.

43All the families of the Shuhamites, according to those that were numbered of them, were threescore and four thousand and four hundred.

44Of the children of Asher after their families: of Jimna, the family of the Jimnites: of Jesui, the family of the Jesuites: of Beriah, the family of the Beriites.

45Of the sons of Beriah: of Heber, the family of the Heberites: of Malchiel, the family of the Malchielites.

46And the name of the daughter of Asher was Sarah.

47These are the families of the sons of Asher according to those that were numbered of them; who were fifty and three thousand and four hundred.

48Of the sons of Naphtali after their families: of Jahzeel, the family of the Jahzeelites: of Guni, the family of the Gunites:

49Of Jezer, the family of the Jezerites: of Shillem, the family of the Shillemites.

50These are the families of Naphtali according to their families: and they that were numbered of them were forty and five thousand and four hundred.

51These were the numbered of the children of Israel, six hundred thousand and a thousand seven hundred and thirty.

52And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying,

53Unto these the land shall be divided for an inheritance according to the number of names.

54To many thou shalt give the more inheritance, and to few thou shalt give the less inheritance: to every one shall his inheritance be given according to those that were numbered of him.

55Notwithstanding the land shall be divided by lot: according to the names of the tribes of their fathers they shall inherit.

56According to the lot shall the possession thereof be divided between many and few.

57And these are they that were numbered of the Levites after their families: of Gershon, the family of the Gershonites: of Kohath, the family of the Kohathites: of Merari, the family of the Merarites.

58These are the families of the Levites: the family of the Libnites, the family of the Hebronites, the family of the Mahlites, the family of the Mushites, the family of the Korathites. And Kohath begat Amram.

59And the name of Amram’s wife was Jochebed, the daughter of Levi, whom her mother bare to Levi in Egypt: and she bare unto Amram Aaron and Moses, and Miriam their sister.

60And unto Aaron was born Nadab, and Abihu, Eleazar, and Ithamar.

61And Nadab and Abihu died, when they offered strange fire before the Lord.

62And those that were numbered of them were twenty and three thousand, all males from a month old and upward: for they were not numbered among the children of Israel, because there was no inheritance given them among the children of Israel.

63These are they that were numbered by Moses and Eleazar the priest, who numbered the children of Israel in the plains of Moab by Jordan near Jericho.

64But among these there was not a man of them whom Moses and Aaron the priest numbered, when they numbered the children of Israel in the wilderness of Sinai.

65For the Lord had said of them, They shall surely die in the wilderness. And there was not left a man of them, save Caleb the son of Jephunneh, and Joshua the son of Nun.