1Back in the day, there were mad people vibing, and they were starvin'. Jesus pulled up to his crew and said,

2"I feel for these peeps, they've been hanging with me for three days, and they got no food, fr."

3"If I just dip and leave them hungry, they gonna faint on the way home, no cap. Some came from way far."

4His squad was like, "How we supposed to feed all these people bread out here in the wild?"

5Jesus asked, "Yo, how many loaves you got?" They replied, "Seven, fam."

6He told everyone to chill on the ground, took those seven loaves, said a quick thanks, broke 'em, and handed them to his boys to serve up; they did that.

7They had a few small fish too, and he blessed those and told them to serve those as well.

8So they feasted and were full, and they picked up the leftovers, which filled seven baskets.

9Those who ate were around four thousand, and then he sent them off.

10Right after, he hopped in a boat with his crew and cruised to Dalmanutha.

11The Pharisees rolled up and started grilling him, asking for a sign from heaven, trying to test him.

12He sighed hard and was like, "Why’s this generation so thirsty for a sign? No cap, no sign’s coming for y’all."

13He just bounced, hopped back on the boat, and cruised to the other side.

14The crew forgot to grab bread, and they only had one loaf on deck.

15He was like, "Yo, watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and Herod. It’s sus."

16They were lowkey debating, thinking it was 'cause they had no bread.

17Jesus caught on and was like, "Why are you stressing about bread? Don’t you get it? Your hearts are still hard?"

18"You got eyes but can’t see? Ears but can’t hear? Do you not remember?"

19"When I broke five loaves for five thousand, how many baskets did you pick up after? They were like, 'Twelve.'"

20"And when I fed seven thousand, how many baskets did you grab then? They said, 'Seven.'"

21He was like, "Yo, why y'all not gettin' this? It's sus."

22Then he rolls up to Bethsaida, and they bring a blind dude to him, begging him to touch him.

23He grabs the blind guy's hand, leads him outta town, spits on his eyes, puts his hands on him, and asks, "You see anything?"

24The guy looks up and says, "I see peeps like trees, movin' around."

25Then he puts his hands on his eyes again, tells him to look up, and he was healed, seeing everyone clearly.

26He told him to bounce to his crib, saying, "Don’t go back to the town or spill the tea to anyone there."

27Jesus and his crew dipped into the towns of Cesarea Philippi, and on the way, he asked them, "Who do people say I am?"

28They answered, "John the Baptist," but some say, "Elijah," and others think he’s just one of the prophets.

29Then he asked them, "But who do you say I am?" Peter popped off and said, "You’re the Christ."

30He told them to keep it on the down-low and not tell anyone about him.

31He started teaching them that the Son of Man’s gotta go through some serious pain, get rejected by the OGs, and then be killed, but after three days, he’s rising back up. No cap.

32He said that out loud, and Peter was like, “Nah fam,” and tried to check him.

33But then Jesus turned to his crew, called Peter out, and was like, “Get behind me, Satan. You’re not vibing with God’s plan, just with human stuff.”

34Then he called everyone over with his squad and said, “If you wanna roll with me, you gotta deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow me. Periodt.”

35If you try to save your own life, you’ll lose it; but if you lose your life for my sake and the gospel’s, you’ll actually save it. That’s facts.

36What’s the point of gaining the whole world if you lose your soul? That’s just sus.

37And what can a dude give in exchange for his soul? Like, for real?

38If you’re ashamed of me and my words in this wild and sinful generation, then I’ll be ashamed of you when I come in my Father’s glory with the holy angels. That’s savage.

1In those days the multitude being very great, and having nothing to eat, Jesus called his disciples unto him, and saith unto them,

2I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now been with me three days, and have nothing to eat:

3And if I send them away fasting to their own houses, they will faint by the way: for divers of them came from far.

4And his disciples answered him, From whence can a man satisfy these men with bread here in the wilderness?

5And he asked them, How many loaves have ye? And they said, Seven.

6And he commanded the people to sit down on the ground: and he took the seven loaves, and gave thanks, and brake, and gave to his disciples to set before them; and they did set them before the people.

7And they had a few small fishes: and he blessed, and commanded to set them also before them.

8So they did eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets.

9And they that had eaten were about four thousand: and he sent them away.

10And straightway he entered into a ship with his disciples, and came into the parts of Dalmanutha.

11And the Pharisees came forth, and began to question with him, seeking of him a sign from heaven, tempting him.

12And he sighed deeply in his spirit, and saith, Why doth this generation seek after a sign? verily I say unto you, There shall no sign be given unto this generation.

13And he left them, and entering into the ship again departed to the other side.

14Now the disciples had forgotten to take bread, neither had they in the ship with them more than one loaf.

15And he charged them, saying, Take heed, beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, and of the leaven of Herod.

16And they reasoned among themselves, saying, It is because we have no bread.

17And when Jesus knew it, he saith unto them, Why reason ye, because ye have no bread? perceive ye not yet, neither understand? have ye your heart yet hardened?

18Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and do ye not remember?

19When I brake the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? They say unto him, Twelve.

20And when the seven among four thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? And they said, Seven.

21And he said unto them, How is it that ye do not understand?

22And he cometh to Bethsaida; and they bring a blind man unto him, and besought him to touch him.

23And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought.

24And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking.

25After that he put his hands again upon his eyes, and made him look up: and he was restored, and saw every man clearly.

26And he sent him away to his house, saying, Neither go into the town, nor tell it to any in the town.

27And Jesus went out, and his disciples, into the towns of Cesarea Philippi: and by the way he asked his disciples, saying unto them, Whom do men say that I am?

28And they answered, John the Baptist: but some say, Elias; and others, One of the prophets.

29And he saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am? And Peter answereth and saith unto him, Thou art the Christ.

30And he charged them that they should tell no man of him.

31And he began to teach them, that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders, and of the chief priests, and scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.

32And he spake that saying openly. And Peter took him, and began to rebuke him.

33But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.

34And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

35For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.

36For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

37Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

38Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.