Gen Z: Luke 8
1After that, he was out here hitting up every city and village, spreading the good vibes of God's kingdom, and the twelve were rolling with him, no cap.
2And there were some women who got healed from bad vibes and sickness, like Mary Magdalene, who had seven demons chilling in her.
3Joanna, the wifey of Chuza, Herod’s steward, Susanna, and a bunch of others were out here supporting him with what they had, that’s just goated.
4When a huge crowd gathered around him from all over, he dropped some wisdom with a parable, it was lit.
5A sower went out to toss some seeds, and some hit the road; they got trampled, and the birds just swooped in and snatched it up, savage.
6Some seeds landed on rock; as soon as they sprouted, they withered away 'cause they were thirsty, fr.
7Some seeds fell among thorns; the thorns grew up too and choked them out, sus.
8But other seeds landed on good soil, sprouted, and produced a hundredfold. After sharing this, he shouted, "If you got ears, listen up!"
9His crew asked him, "What’s the deal with this parable?"
10He said, "You guys get to know the secrets of God's kingdom, but for others, it’s all parables; they see but don’t really see, hear but don’t really get it."
11The parable is lowkey this: The seed is basically the word of God, fr.
12Those chilling on the sidelines hear it, but then the devil swoops in and snatches the word from their hearts, so they can't believe and get saved, no cap.
13The ones on the rock hear it and vibe with joy, but they have no roots, so when things get tough, they dip out.
14The ones that fell among thorns heard it too, but they get choked by life’s worries and riches, so they don’t produce any real fruit, sus.
15But the ones on good ground are real ones, they hear the word, keep it, and patiently bring forth some dope fruit.
16No one lights a candle and hides it, they put it on a stand so everyone can see that light, periodt.
17Nothing stays secret forever; everything hidden is gonna be revealed, no cap.
18So be careful how you listen: whoever has will get more, and whoever doesn’t have will lose even what they think they got, fr.
19Then his mom and bros showed up but couldn’t get to him 'cause of the crowd, savage.
20Someone told him, "Your mom and bros are outside wanting to see you," and that’s the tea.
21He was like, "Yo, my fam is the ones who vibe with God's word and actually do it."
22One day, he hopped on a boat with his crew and was like, "Let’s bounce to the other side of the lake." So they set sail.
23But while they were cruising, he knocked out, and then a storm popped off, flooding the boat and putting them in danger.
24They woke him up, shouting, "Master, we’re gonna drown!" He got up, told the wind and waves to chill, and everything went calm, no cap.
25He asked them, "Where’s your faith?" They were shook and whispered to each other, "Who is this dude? He even tells the wind and water what to do, and they listen!"
26They rolled up to the land of the Gadarenes, which was across from Galilee.
27When he stepped off the boat, a dude from the city met him, totally possessed, wearing no clothes and living in tombs.
28When he saw Jesus, he screamed and fell down, saying, "What’s up with me and you, Jesus, Son of the Most High? Please don’t mess with me."
29(He had told the unclean spirit to dip out of the guy. The spirit had been wilding, tying him up with chains, but he broke free and was thrown into the wilderness by the devil.)
30Jesus asked him, "What’s your name?" He replied, "Legion," 'cause a bunch of devils had entered him.
31They were like, "Yo, don’t make us dip into the deep end."
32There were pigs vibing on the hill, and they were like, "Let us roll with them." And he was cool with it.
33The demons bounced outta the dude and hopped into the pigs, who then dipped down the hill into the lake and got choked.
34The pig feeders saw the chaos and ghosted, telling everyone in the city and countryside.
35They went to check it out and found the dude chilling at Jesus' feet, dressed and totally sane, and they were shook.
36Those who witnessed it spilled the tea on how the possessed dude got healed.
37The whole squad from Gadarenes begged him to bounce because they were straight-up scared, so he hopped into a boat and dipped.
38The dude who got freed from the demons was like, "Let me roll with you," but Jesus was like, "Nah, fam."
39He told him, "Go back home and flex on how God came through for you." So he bounced and told the whole city how lit Jesus was.
40When Jesus came back, the people were hyped to see him because they were all waiting for the comeback.
41Ayo, check it, this dude named Jairus rolls up, he's like the big boss of the synagogue, and he straight-up drops to Jesus' feet, begging him to come to his crib.
42He had one daughter, like twelve years old, and she was on her last leg. But as he was on his way, the crowd was all up in his space.
43Then a woman with a blood issue for twelve years, who spent all her cash on docs, couldn’t get healed by any of them, pulled up.
44She snuck up behind him and touched the hem of his outfit, and boom, her bleeding stopped instantly.
45Jesus was like, "Who touched me?" Everyone was denying it, but Peter and his crew were like, "Master, the crowd’s wildin' and you wanna know who touched you?"
46Jesus was like, "Nah, someone definitely touched me; I felt that good energy leave me."
47When the woman realized she couldn’t hide anymore, she came forward, shaking and fell at his feet, telling everyone how she touched him and got healed on the spot.
48Jesus told her, "Daughter, chill out; your faith made you whole. Go live your best life in peace."
49While he was still talking, someone from Jairus' house showed up, saying, "Yo, your daughter’s gone; don’t bother the Master."
50But Jesus heard that and said, "Don’t trip; just believe, and she’ll be all good."
51When he rolled up to the crib, he only let Peter, James, John, and her parents in. No cap.
52Everyone was crying hard, but he was like, "Chill, she’s just napping, not dead."
53They straight-up laughed at him, thinking she was gone for real.
54He kicked everyone out, grabbed her hand, and said, "Yo, get up."
55Her spirit came back, and she popped up right away: he told them to feed her.
56Her folks were shook, but he told them to keep it on the low about what just went down.