1So it went down that the crowd was all up in his space to catch the word of God, and he was chilling by the lake of Gennesaret, fr.

2He peeped two boats just sitting there by the lake, but the fishermen were MIA, busy cleaning their nets.

3Then he hopped into one of the boats, Simon’s ride, and asked him to push out a bit from the shore. He sat down and dropped some knowledge to the crowd from the boat.

4After he finished speaking, he told Simon, "Yo, let’s head out to the deep and drop your nets for a catch."

5Simon replied, "Master, we’ve been grinding all night and caught nada, but fine, I’ll drop the net 'cause you said so."

6When they did that, they snagged a ton of fish, like, their net was straight-up breaking.

7They called over their buddies in the other boat to come help, and when they did, both boats were so full they started to sink, no cap.

8When Simon Peter saw the craziness, he dropped to his knees in front of Jesus, saying, "Yo, just bounce; I’m a messed-up dude, Lord."

9He was totally shook, and everyone with him was mind-blown by the massive catch of fish they pulled in.

10James and John, the sons of Zebedee, who were Simon’s partners, were also lit about it. Jesus told Simon, "Chill, from now on you’ll be catching people."

11They pulled their ships to shore, ditched everything, and followed him. No cap.

12One time, in a city, a dude with leprosy saw Jesus, dropped to his face, and was like, "Lord, if you want, you can make me clean."

13Jesus reached out, touched him, and said, "I got you, be clean." And just like that, the leprosy was gone.

14He told him to keep it on the down-low, but go show yourself to the priest and offer for your cleansing like Moses said, for the vibes.

15But word spread like wildfire about him, and crowds showed up to hear and get healed. It was bussin'.

16He dipped into the wilderness to pray, just vibing alone.

17One day while he was teaching, Pharisees and law experts from all over were chilling there, and the Lord's power was on deck to heal.

18Then, some guys brought a paralyzed dude on a bed, trying to get him in to see Jesus.

19When they couldn't find a way in because of the crowd, they climbed up to the roof and lowered him down through the tiles right in front of Jesus.

20When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Yo, your sins are forgiven."

21The scribes and Pharisees were like, "Who’s this dude throwing shade? Only God can forgive sins, fr."

22Jesus peeped their thoughts and said, "What’s poppin’ in your hearts?"

23Which is easier to say, "Your sins are forgiven," or "Get up and walk?"

24So you know the Son of Man can forgive sins, he told the sick guy, "Get up, grab your mat, and bounce home."

25And he straight up got up, took his mat, and dipped to his crib, giving props to God.

26Everyone was shook, praising God and saying, "We’ve seen some wild stuff today."

27Then Jesus rolled out and spotted Levi, a tax dude, chilling at his booth, and said, "Yo, follow me."

28Levi dipped everything, got up, and followed him.

29Levi threw a lit feast at his house, and a whole squad of tax collectors and others were vibing with them.

30But the scribes and Pharisees were lowkey complaining about his crew, saying, "Why are you eating with tax collectors and sinners?"

31Jesus was like, "Healthy peeps don’t need a doc; it's the sick ones who need that help, fr."

32"I didn’t roll up to vibe with the righteous, but to call out the sinners to get their act together, periodt."

33They were all like, "Why do John’s crew fast and pray all the time, while your squad is just munching and vibing?"

34Jesus replied, "Can you make the wedding party fast when the groom’s right there with them? That’s sus."

35"But there’ll come a time when the groom is gone, and then they’ll be fasting for real."

36He dropped a parable: "No one slaps a new patch on an old fit; otherwise, it’ll just mess everything up."

37"And no one pours new juice into old bottles; otherwise, the bottles will burst and it’s all gonna spill."

38"New juice needs new bottles, fam; that’s how you keep it fresh."

39"No one who’s had that old wine is gonna want the new stuff right away; they’ll be like, ‘The old vibes are better.’"

1And it came to pass, that, as the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, he stood by the lake of Gennesaret,

2And saw two ships standing by the lake: but the fishermen were gone out of them, and were washing their nets.

3And he entered into one of the ships, which was Simon’s, and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship.

4Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.

5And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net.

6And when they had this done, they inclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake.

7And they beckoned unto their partners, which were in the other ship, that they should come and help them. And they came, and filled both the ships, so that they began to sink.

8When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord.

9For he was astonished, and all that were with him, at the draught of the fishes which they had taken:

10And so was also James, and John, the sons of Zebedee, which were partners with Simon. And Jesus said unto Simon, Fear not; from henceforth thou shalt catch men.

11And when they had brought their ships to land, they forsook all, and followed him.

12And it came to pass, when he was in a certain city, behold a man full of leprosy: who seeing Jesus fell on his face, and besought him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean.

13And he put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will: be thou clean. And immediately the leprosy departed from him.

14And he charged him to tell no man: but go, and shew thyself to the priest, and offer for thy cleansing, according as Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.

15But so much the more went there a fame abroad of him: and great multitudes came together to hear, and to be healed by him of their infirmities.

16And he withdrew himself into the wilderness, and prayed.

17And it came to pass on a certain day, as he was teaching, that there were Pharisees and doctors of the law sitting by, which were come out of every town of Galilee, and Judea, and Jerusalem: and the power of the Lord was present to heal them.

18And, behold, men brought in a bed a man which was taken with a palsy: and they sought means to bring him in, and to lay him before him.

19And when they could not find by what way they might bring him in because of the multitude, they went upon the housetop, and let him down through the tiling with his couch into the midst before Jesus.

20And when he saw their faith, he said unto him, Man, thy sins are forgiven thee.

21And the scribes and the Pharisees began to reason, saying, Who is this which speaketh blasphemies? Who can forgive sins, but God alone?

22But when Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answering said unto them, What reason ye in your hearts?

23Whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Rise up and walk?

24But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power upon earth to forgive sins, (he said unto the sick of the palsy,) I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy couch, and go into thine house.

25And immediately he rose up before them, and took up that whereon he lay, and departed to his own house, glorifying God.

26And they were all amazed, and they glorified God, and were filled with fear, saying, We have seen strange things to day.

27And after these things he went forth, and saw a publican, named Levi, sitting at the receipt of custom: and he said unto him, Follow me.

28And he left all, rose up, and followed him.

29And Levi made him a great feast in his own house: and there was a great company of publicans and of others that sat down with them.

30But their scribes and Pharisees murmured against his disciples, saying, Why do ye eat and drink with publicans and sinners?

31And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick.

32I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

33And they said unto him, Why do the disciples of John fast often, and make prayers, and likewise the disciples of the Pharisees; but thine eat and drink?

34And he said unto them, Can ye make the children of the bridechamber fast, while the bridegroom is with them?

35But the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken away from them, and then shall they fast in those days.

36And he spake also a parable unto them; No man putteth a piece of a new garment upon an old; if otherwise, then both the new maketh a rent, and the piece that was taken out of the new agreeth not with the old.

37And no man putteth new wine into old bottles; else the new wine will burst the bottles, and be spilled, and the bottles shall perish.

38But new wine must be put into new bottles; and both are preserved.

39No man also having drunk old wine straightway desireth new: for he saith, The old is better.