1After Joshua dipped, the Israelites hit up the Lord, like, “Who’s gonna pop off against the Canaanites first?”

2The Lord was like, “Judah’s got this; I’ve already handed over the land to him.”

3Judah told his bro Simeon, “Yo, come roll with me to fight the Canaanites, and I’ll back you up too.” So, Simeon was like, “Bet,” and went with him.

4Judah stepped up, and the Lord gave the Canaanites and Perizzites into their hands; they took out ten thousand in Bezek.

5They found Adoni-bezek in Bezek, and they threw down against him, taking out the Canaanites and Perizzites.

6But Adoni-bezek bounced; they chased him down, caught him, and took off his thumbs and big toes.

7Adoni-bezek was like, “I had 70 kings under my table missing their thumbs and toes; I got what I deserved.” Then they took him to Jerusalem, and he kicked the bucket there.

8The kids of Judah rolled up on Jerusalem, took it over, and lit it up with the sword.

9Later, the kids of Judah went down to fight the Canaanites chillin’ in the mountains, south, and the valley.

10Judah went after the Canaanites in Hebron (used to be called Kirjath-arba) and took out Sheshai, Ahiman, and Talmai.

11Then he rolled up on Debir's squad, and it used to be called Kirjath-sepher, no cap.

12Caleb was like, "Whoever takes Kirjath-sepher, I’ll hook them up with my daughter Achsah, periodt."

13Othniel, Caleb’s younger bro, snagged it, and he got Achsah as his wifey.

14When she showed up, she made him ask her dad for a field, hopped off her ride, and Caleb was like, "What’s good?"

15She said, "Bless me! You gave me land down south; now I need some water vibes." Caleb gave her the upper and lower springs, lit.

16The Kenite fam, Moses' in-law, dipped from the palm city with Judah's crew into the Judah wild, they were vibing in the south of Arad.

17Judah and his bro Simeon rolled out and took out the Canaanites in Zephath, totally wiped it, and called the city Hormah, savage.

18Judah also snagged Gaza, Askelon, and Ekron, all with their coastlines, no cap.

19The Lord was riding with Judah; he kicked out the mountain peeps but couldn’t take the valley squad 'cause they had iron chariots, sus.

20They gave Hebron to Caleb, just like Moses said, and he sent the three Anak sons packing, straight up.

21The fam from Benjamin didn’t kick out the Jebusites chillin’ in Jerusalem; now they’re just vibing together, no cap.

22The crew from Joseph pulled up on Beth-el, and God was totally with them, fr.

23Joseph's squad sent out peeps to scope Beth-el. (It used to be called Luz, just sayin’.)

24The spies spotted a dude coming outta the city, and they were like, “Yo, show us the way in, and we’ll hook you up.”

25When he showed them the entrance, they went savage on the city, but let the dude and his fam walk free.

26The guy bounced to the land of the Hittites, built a city, and named it Luz, and it’s still called that today, periodt.

27Manasseh didn’t kick out the peeps in Beth-shean and its towns, or Taanach and her towns, or the homies in Dor, Ibleam, or Megiddo; Canaanites just vibed there instead.

28When Israel got strong, they made the Canaanites pay up, but didn’t fully kick them out, you feel?

29Ephraim didn’t drive out the Canaanites in Gezer; they just coexisted, no cap.

30Zebulun didn’t kick out the folks in Kitron or Nahalol; the Canaanites were chillin’ with them and paying tribute.

31Asher wasn't about that life, didn't kick out the peeps in Accho, Zidon, Ahlab, Achzib, Helbah, Aphik, or Rehob: sus vibes.

32The Asherites just vibed with the Canaanites in the land, 'cause they didn't drive them out, no cap.

33Naphtali also skipped out on kicking out the homies in Beth-shemesh and Beth-anath; they just chilled with the Canaanites, and those in Beth-shemesh and Beth-anath became their tributaries, fr.

34The Amorites were savage, pushing the Dan kids into the mountains, not letting them come down to the valley: wild.

35But the Amorites were living it up in mount Heres in Aijalon and Shaalbim; still, the Joseph crew popped off and made them tributaries.

36The Amorites' turf was from Akrabbim up to the rock, and beyond that, it was lit.

1Now after the death of Joshua it came to pass, that the children of Israel asked the Lord, saying, Who shall go up for us against the Canaanites first, to fight against them?

2And the Lord said, Judah shall go up: behold, I have delivered the land into his hand.

3And Judah said unto Simeon his brother, Come up with me into my lot, that we may fight against the Canaanites; and I likewise will go with thee into thy lot. So Simeon went with him.

4And Judah went up; and the Lord delivered the Canaanites and the Perizzites into their hand: and they slew of them in Bezek ten thousand men.

5And they found Adoni–bezek in Bezek: and they fought against him, and they slew the Canaanites and the Perizzites.

6But Adoni–bezek fled; and they pursued after him, and caught him, and cut off his thumbs and his great toes.

7And Adoni–bezek said, Threescore and ten kings, having their thumbs and their great toes cut off, gathered their meat under my table: as I have done, so God hath requited me. And they brought him to Jerusalem, and there he died.

8Now the children of Judah had fought against Jerusalem, and had taken it, and smitten it with the edge of the sword, and set the city on fire.

9And afterward the children of Judah went down to fight against the Canaanites, that dwelt in the mountain, and in the south, and in the valley.

10And Judah went against the Canaanites that dwelt in Hebron: (now the name of Hebron before was Kirjath–arba:) and they slew Sheshai, and Ahiman, and Talmai.

11And from thence he went against the inhabitants of Debir: and the name of Debir before was Kirjath–sepher:

12And Caleb said, He that smiteth Kirjath–sepher, and taketh it, to him will I give Achsah my daughter to wife.

13And Othniel the son of Kenaz, Caleb’s younger brother, took it: and he gave him Achsah his daughter to wife.

14And it came to pass, when she came to him, that she moved him to ask of her father a field: and she lighted from off her ass; and Caleb said unto her, What wilt thou?

15And she said unto him, Give me a blessing: for thou hast given me a south land; give me also springs of water. And Caleb gave her the upper springs and the nether springs.

16And the children of the Kenite, Moses’ father in law, went up out of the city of palm trees with the children of Judah into the wilderness of Judah, which lieth in the south of Arad; and they went and dwelt among the people.

17And Judah went with Simeon his brother, and they slew the Canaanites that inhabited Zephath, and utterly destroyed it. And the name of the city was called Hormah.

18Also Judah took Gaza with the coast thereof, and Askelon with the coast thereof, and Ekron with the coast thereof.

19And the Lord was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

20And they gave Hebron unto Caleb, as Moses said: and he expelled thence the three sons of Anak.

21And the children of Benjamin did not drive out the Jebusites that inhabited Jerusalem; but the Jebusites dwell with the children of Benjamin in Jerusalem unto this day.

22And the house of Joseph, they also went up against Beth–el: and the Lord was with them.

23And the house of Joseph sent to descry Beth–el. (Now the name of the city before was Luz.)

24And the spies saw a man come forth out of the city, and they said unto him, Shew us, we pray thee, the entrance into the city, and we will shew thee mercy.

25And when he shewed them the entrance into the city, they smote the city with the edge of the sword; but they let go the man and all his family.

26And the man went into the land of the Hittites, and built a city, and called the name thereof Luz: which is the name thereof unto this day.

27Neither did Manasseh drive out the inhabitants of Beth–shean and her towns, nor Taanach and her towns, nor the inhabitants of Dor and her towns, nor the inhabitants of Ibleam and her towns, nor the inhabitants of Megiddo and her towns: but the Canaanites would dwell in that land.

28And it came to pass, when Israel was strong, that they put the Canaanites to tribute, and did not utterly drive them out.

29Neither did Ephraim drive out the Canaanites that dwelt in Gezer; but the Canaanites dwelt in Gezer among them.

30Neither did Zebulun drive out the inhabitants of Kitron, nor the inhabitants of Nahalol; but the Canaanites dwelt among them, and became tributaries.

31Neither did Asher drive out the inhabitants of Accho, nor the inhabitants of Zidon, nor of Ahlab, nor of Achzib, nor of Helbah, nor of Aphik, nor of Rehob:

32But the Asherites dwelt among the Canaanites, the inhabitants of the land: for they did not drive them out.

33Neither did Naphtali drive out the inhabitants of Beth–shemesh, nor the inhabitants of Beth–anath; but he dwelt among the Canaanites, the inhabitants of the land: nevertheless the inhabitants of Beth–shemesh and of Beth–anath became tributaries unto them.

34And the Amorites forced the children of Dan into the mountain: for they would not suffer them to come down to the valley:

35But the Amorites would dwell in mount Heres in Aijalon, and in Shaalbim: yet the hand of the house of Joseph prevailed, so that they became tributaries.

36And the coast of the Amorites was from the going up to Akrabbim, from the rock, and upward.