Gen Z: John 18
1After Jesus said all that, he dipped with his squad over the brook Cedron, where there was a garden, and they all rolled in.
2Judas, the dude who sold him out, knew the spot 'cause Jesus always vibed there with his crew.
3So Judas shows up with a squad of peeps and officers from the chief priests and Pharisees, bringing lanterns, torches, and weapons.
4Jesus, knowing all the tea about what was about to go down, stepped up and asked, "Who you looking for?"
5They replied, "Jesus of Nazareth." Jesus said, "That’s me." And Judas, the betrayer, was right there with them.
6As soon as he dropped that line, they stumbled back and hit the ground.
7He asked them again, "Who you looking for?" They said, "Jesus of Nazareth."
8Jesus was like, "I already told you I’m him; if you're here for me, let my crew bounce."
9This was to make sure the prophecy was on point, saying, "I didn’t lose any of the ones you gave me."
10Then Simon Peter, with his sword, pulled it out and took a swing at the high priest’s servant, chopping off his right ear. The servant’s name was Malchus.
11Jesus told Peter, "Chill with the sword, fam. My Father gave me this cup, and I'm gonna drink it, no cap."
12Then the squad and the boss man of the Jews grabbed Jesus and tied him up, fr.
13They took him to Annas first; he was like the father-in-law to Caiaphas, the high priest that year, periodt.
14Caiaphas was the one who said it was better for one dude to die for the people, that's just savage.
15Simon Peter followed Jesus, and another disciple did too; this disciple knew the high priest and rolled in with Jesus to the palace.
16But Peter was chilling at the door outside. Then that other disciple who knew the high priest went out, talked to the girl at the door, and brought Peter in.
17The girl at the door asked Peter, "Aren't you one of this dude's disciples?" He was like, "Nah, not me."
18The servants and officers were there, warming themselves by a fire 'cause it was cold; Peter was with them, trying to get warm too.
19The high priest asked Jesus about his disciples and his teachings, sus.
20Jesus replied, "I spoke openly to everyone; I taught in the synagogue and the temple where the Jews always hang out, and I kept it 100, no secrets."
21Why you askin' me? Ask the squad who heard me, they know what I said, no cap.
22After he said that, one of the officers straight-up slapped Jesus, like, "You talkin' back to the high priest?"
23Jesus was like, "If I said something sus, prove it; but if I’m chillin', why you hittin' me?"
24So, Annas sent him tied up to Caiaphas, the high priest.
25Peter was just vibin' and keeping warm. They were like, "Aren't you one of his crew?" He was like, "Nah, not me."
26One of the high priest's homies, whose ear Peter had sliced off, was like, "Didn’t I see you in the garden with him?"
27Peter denied it again, and then the rooster crowed, fr.
28Then they took Jesus from Caiaphas to the judgment hall, it was early, and they didn’t go in so they wouldn’t get defiled, just wanted to eat the Passover.
29Pilate came out to them and asked, "What’s the tea against this dude?"
30They replied, "If he wasn’t a total menace, we wouldn’t have brought him to you."
31Pilate was like, "Go ahead and judge him based on your rules." The Jews were like, "No cap, we can't put anyone to death."
32This was to make what Jesus said come true, showing how he was gonna die.
33Pilate popped back into the judgment hall and asked Jesus, "So, are you the King of the Jews?"
34Jesus was like, "You asking that for yourself, or did someone spill the tea on me?"
35Pilate replied, "Am I a Jew? Your people and the top priests brought you to me. What did you do?"
36Jesus answered, "My kingdom ain't from this world. If it was, my squad would be fighting to save me from you guys. But nah, my kingdom's from somewhere else."
37Pilate asked, "So you are a king?" Jesus said, "You said it. I was born for this and came to the world to share the truth. Everyone who vibes with the truth hears my voice."
38Pilate was like, "What even is truth?" After saying that, he went back to the Jews and said, "I find no fault in him, fr."
39"But you guys have this thing where I release one person at Passover. Do you want me to let go of the King of the Jews?"
40They all shouted again, "Not him, but Barabbas!" Barabbas was a total robber.