1Job was like, "Ayo, Lord, I gotta say something."

2"I know you can do literally anything, and you see all the thoughts, no cap."

3"Who’s trying to drop wisdom without knowing what's up? I said stuff I didn’t even get; things way too lit for me."

4"Yo, listen up, I wanna talk: I got questions for you, so spill the tea."

5"I heard about you from others, but now I see you for real."

6"I’m feeling super sus about myself, so I’m sorry, like, for real."

7"After the Lord said this to Job, He hit up Eliphaz the Temanite, 'I’m mad at you and your friends, 'cause you didn’t keep it 100 like Job did.'"

8"So, grab seven bulls and seven rams, roll up to Job, and offer a burnt offering; Job will pray for you, and I’ll vibe with that, or else you’ll catch the heat for your nonsense."

9"Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar bounced and did what the Lord said, and the Lord was down with Job."

10"The Lord flipped Job’s whole situation when he prayed for his friends, and gave him double the blessings he had before."

11"Then all his fam and friends came through, ate with him, and comforted him about all the stuff the Lord threw at him; everyone dropped him some cash and gold earrings."

12"The Lord blessed Job way more in the end than at the start: he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys."

13"He also had seven sons and three daughters, no cap."

14"He named the first one Jemima, the second one Kezia, and the third one Keren-happuch."

15"No other ladies in the land were as dope as Job’s daughters, and their dad hooked them up with inheritance."

16"After that, Job lived 140 years and saw his kids and grandkids, like four generations."

17"So Job passed away, old and vibing with a full life."

1Then Job answered the Lord, and said,

2I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.

3Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.

4Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.

5I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.

6Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.

7And it was so, that after the Lord had spoken these words unto Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath.

8Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job.

9So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went, and did according as the Lord commanded them: the Lord also accepted Job.

10And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.

11Then came there unto him all his brethren, and all his sisters, and all they that had been of his acquaintance before, and did eat bread with him in his house: and they bemoaned him, and comforted him over all the evil that the Lord had brought upon him: every man also gave him a piece of money, and every one an earring of gold.

12So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses.

13He had also seven sons and three daughters.

14And he called the name of the first, Jemima; and the name of the second, Kezia; and the name of the third, Keren–happuch.

15And in all the land were no women found so fair as the daughters of Job: and their father gave them inheritance among their brethren.

16After this lived Job an hundred and forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons’ sons, even four generations.

17So Job died, being old and full of days.