Gen Z: Jeremiah 40
1So, like, the word hit Jeremiah from the Lord after Nebuzar–adan, the guard captain, let him bounce from Ramah, all chained up with the crew taken from Jerusalem and Judah to Babylon.
2The guard captain told Jeremiah, “Yo, the Lord your God is saying this place is about to get wrecked.”
3Now the Lord pulled through just like He said He would, 'cause y’all messed up and didn’t listen, so this is what you get, no cap.
4“Aight, I’m freeing you from those chains today. If you wanna roll with me to Babylon, bet; I got you. But if you’re not vibing with that, you do you—land’s all yours, go where you feel.”
5While he was still chillin’, he said, “Go back to Gedaliah, son of Ahikam, the governor the king of Babylon set over Judah’s cities, and kick it with him or bounce wherever feels right.” So the guard hooked him up with food and a reward, then let him dip.
6Then Jeremiah cruised to Gedaliah at Mizpah and hung out with the peeps still in the land.
7When all the captains in the fields heard that Gedaliah was made governor by the Babylon king, they rolled up with their crew, including men, women, and the poor who didn’t get taken.
8They pulled up to Gedaliah at Mizpah: Ishmael, Johanan, Jonathan, Seraiah, and the crew from Ephai and Jezaniah, all together.
9Gedaliah swore to them, “Don’t be sus about serving the Chaldeans; just chill here and serve the Babylon king, and everything will be lit for you.”
10“As for me, I’m staying at Mizpah to serve the Chaldeans when they roll through; you guys gather wine, summer fruits, and oil, and stash them in your cities.”
11When all the Jews in Moab, Ammon, Edom, and everywhere else heard the Babylon king left a crew in Judah and set Gedaliah as their governor,
12all the Jews bounced back to Judah, to Gedaliah at Mizpah, and stacked up on wine and summer fruits like crazy.
13Johanan, son of Kareah, and all the captains in the fields came to Gedaliah at Mizpah,
14and said, “Yo, do you know Baalis, the king of the Ammonites, sent Ishmael to take you out? But Gedaliah was like, “Nah, I don’t believe that.”
15Then Johanan whispered to Gedaliah at Mizpah, “Let me handle Ishmael, fam, and no one will know. Why let him take you out and scatter the Jews?”
16But Gedaliah told Johanan, “Chill, you can’t do that; you’re trippin’ about Ishmael.”