Jeremiah 23

Gen Z: Jeremiah 23

1Fr, woe to the pastors who are out here wrecking and scattering my peeps! Says the Lord, that's sus.

2So the Lord God of Israel is calling out the pastors who are feeding my squad; you scattered my crew and ghosted them, and I’m gonna hit you with the consequences, no cap.

3I’m gonna scoop up the remnant of my flock from all the places I sent them off to, and I’ll bring them back to their spots; they gonna be thriving and growing, periodt.

4I’ll set up some real shepherds to take care of them, and they won’t have to stress anymore, no more worries, they’ll be good, says the Lord.

5Just wait, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I’ll raise up a righteous dude from David’s line, and a King will pop off and bring justice to the land.

6In his time, Judah will be saved, and Israel will chill safely; this is his name: THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS, straight up.

7So check it, the days are coming, says the Lord, when people won’t say, “The Lord lives, who brought up the Israelites from Egypt” anymore;

8But instead, they’ll say, “The Lord lives, who brought up and led the house of Israel from the north and all the places I sent them,” and they’ll vibe in their own land.

9My heart is shattered because of the prophets; my bones are shaking; I’m like a tipsy dude, overwhelmed by the Lord and his holy words, fr.

10The land is packed with cheaters; it’s mourning because of all the swearing; the chill spots in the wild are dried up, and everything’s gone off track, no cap.

11Both the prophet and priest are being sus; I found their wickedness in my spot, says the Lord.

12So their path is gonna be slippery in the dark: they’ll be pushed and fall hard, 'cause I'm bringing the drama on them, even the year of their reckoning, says the Lord.

13I peeped some major cringe in the prophets of Samaria; they were vibing with Baal, leading my peeps Israel astray.

14I also saw some wild stuff in the prophets of Jerusalem: they’re out here cheating and spreading lies, boosting the rizz of evildoers, so no one’s turning from their wicked ways; they’re all like Sodom, and the people like Gomorrah.

15So the Lord of hosts is like, “Yo, I’m gonna hit them with some wormwood and make them sip that bitter water, 'cause the prophets of Jerusalem spread the sus vibes all over the land.”

16The Lord of hosts says, “Don’t listen to those prophets who are just hyping you up: they’re just chatting nonsense from their own hearts, not from me.”

17They keep telling those who are shady, “The Lord said you’re all good;” and to everyone chasing their own vibe, “No bad vibes are coming your way.”

18For who’s actually been in the Lord’s council and caught his word? Who’s really marked his word and heard it?

19Check it, a whirlwind from the Lord is blowing in anger, a serious storm: it’s gonna hit hard on the heads of the wicked.

20The Lord’s anger won’t chill until he’s done what he planned, and in the last days, you’ll see it all clear, periodt.

21I didn’t send these prophets, but they still popped off: I didn’t say a word, yet they’re out here prophesying.

22If they had vibed with my counsel and got my people to hear my words, they would’ve turned from their sus ways and evil actions.

23Am I a God who’s close, says the Lord, and not a God who’s far away?

24Can anyone hide in secret spots that I can’t see? says the Lord. Don’t I fill heaven and earth? says the Lord.

25I heard what the prophets are saying, prophesying lies in my name, claiming, "I had a dream, I had a dream."

26How long will this be in the hearts of those prophets who are spitting lies? They’re just vibing off the deceit of their own hearts.

27They think they can make my people forget my name with their dreams that they tell everyone, just like their ancestors forgot my name for Baal.

28The prophet who has a dream, let him share it; and the one who has my word, let him speak it straight up. What’s the chaff to the wheat? says the Lord.

29Isn’t my word like fire? says the Lord; and like a hammer that breaks rocks into pieces?

30So, check it, I’m against the prophets, says the Lord, who steal my words from their neighbors.

31Yo, I’m totally against those prophets, says the Lord, who just run their mouths and be like, "He said."

32For real, I’m coming for those who drop fake dreams, says the Lord, and mislead my peeps with their lies and vibes; I didn’t send them or tell them to do this: they ain’t helping the squad at all, says the Lord.

33When the people, or a prophet, or a priest hit you up asking, "What’s the Lord’s vibe?" just say, "What vibe? I’m out, says the Lord."

34And if the prophet, priest, or people are like, "The Lord’s vibe," I’m gonna punish that dude and his whole crew.

35So everyone should ask their neighbor and bro, "What’s the Lord saying? What’s the word from the Lord?"

36And stop mentioning the Lord’s vibe anymore: every dude’s word is his own weight; you’ve twisted the living God’s words, the Lord of hosts, our God.

37So tell the prophet, "What’s the Lord said to you? What’s the word from the Lord?"

38But since you keep saying, "The Lord’s vibe," the Lord says: Because you keep saying this, I told you not to say, "The Lord’s vibe;"

39So check it, I’m gonna totally forget you, and I’ll bounce from you and the city I gave you and your fam, and kick you outta my presence.

40I’m about to bring some serious disgrace on you, and a shame that won’t ever be forgotten.

KJV: Jeremiah 23

1Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! saith the Lord.

2Therefore thus saith the Lord God of Israel against the pastors that feed my people; Ye have scattered my flock, and driven them away, and have not visited them: behold, I will visit upon you the evil of your doings, saith the Lord.

3And I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all countries whither I have driven them, and will bring them again to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and increase.

4And I will set up shepherds over them which shall feed them: and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall they be lacking, saith the Lord.

5Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will raise unto David a righteous Branch, and a King shall reign and prosper, and shall execute judgment and justice in the earth.

6In his days Judah shall be saved, and Israel shall dwell safely: and this is his name whereby he shall be called, THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS.

7Therefore, behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that they shall no more say, The Lord liveth, which brought up the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt;

8But, The Lord liveth, which brought up and which led the seed of the house of Israel out of the north country, and from all countries whither I had driven them; and they shall dwell in their own land.

9Mine heart within me is broken because of the prophets; all my bones shake; I am like a drunken man, and like a man whom wine hath overcome, because of the Lord, and because of the words of his holiness.

10For the land is full of adulterers; for because of swearing the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wilderness are dried up, and their course is evil, and their force is not right.

11For both prophet and priest are profane; yea, in my house have I found their wickedness, saith the Lord.

12Wherefore their way shall be unto them as slippery ways in the darkness: they shall be driven on, and fall therein: for I will bring evil upon them, even the year of their visitation, saith the Lord.

13And I have seen folly in the prophets of Samaria; they prophesied in Baal, and caused my people Israel to err.

14I have seen also in the prophets of Jerusalem an horrible thing: they commit adultery, and walk in lies: they strengthen also the hands of evildoers, that none doth return from his wickedness: they are all of them unto me as Sodom, and the inhabitants thereof as Gomorrah.

15Therefore thus saith the Lord of hosts concerning the prophets; Behold, I will feed them with wormwood, and make them drink the water of gall: for from the prophets of Jerusalem is profaneness gone forth into all the land.

16Thus saith the Lord of hosts, Hearken not unto the words of the prophets that prophesy unto you: they make you vain: they speak a vision of their own heart, and not out of the mouth of the Lord.

17They say still unto them that despise me, The Lord hath said, Ye shall have peace; and they say unto every one that walketh after the imagination of his own heart, No evil shall come upon you.

18For who hath stood in the counsel of the Lord, and hath perceived and heard his word? who hath marked his word, and heard it?

19Behold, a whirlwind of the Lord is gone forth in fury, even a grievous whirlwind: it shall fall grievously upon the head of the wicked.

20The anger of the Lord shall not return, until he have executed, and till he have performed the thoughts of his heart: in the latter days ye shall consider it perfectly.

21I have not sent these prophets, yet they ran: I have not spoken to them, yet they prophesied.

22But if they had stood in my counsel, and had caused my people to hear my words, then they should have turned them from their evil way, and from the evil of their doings.

23Am I a God at hand, saith the Lord, and not a God afar off?

24Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the Lord.

25I have heard what the prophets said, that prophesy lies in my name, saying, I have dreamed, I have dreamed.

26How long shall this be in the heart of the prophets that prophesy lies? yea, they are prophets of the deceit of their own heart;

27Which think to cause my people to forget my name by their dreams which they tell every man to his neighbour, as their fathers have forgotten my name for Baal.

28The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream; and he that hath my word, let him speak my word faithfully. What is the chaff to the wheat? saith the Lord.

29Is not my word like as a fire? saith the Lord; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?

30Therefore, behold, I am against the prophets, saith the Lord, that steal my words every one from his neighbour.

31Behold, I am against the prophets, saith the Lord, that use their tongues, and say, He saith.

32Behold, I am against them that prophesy false dreams, saith the Lord, and do tell them, and cause my people to err by their lies, and by their lightness; yet I sent them not, nor commanded them: therefore they shall not profit this people at all, saith the Lord.

33And when this people, or the prophet, or a priest, shall ask thee, saying, What is the burden of the Lord? thou shalt then say unto them, What burden? I will even forsake you, saith the Lord.

34And as for the prophet, and the priest, and the people, that shall say, The burden of the Lord, I will even punish that man and his house.

35Thus shall ye say every one to his neighbour, and every one to his brother, What hath the Lord answered? and, What hath the Lord spoken?

36And the burden of the Lord shall ye mention no more: for every man’s word shall be his burden; for ye have perverted the words of the living God, of the Lord of hosts our God.

37Thus shalt thou say to the prophet, What hath the Lord answered thee? and, What hath the Lord spoken?

38But since ye say, The burden of the Lord; therefore thus saith the Lord; Because ye say this word, The burden of the Lord, and I have sent unto you, saying, Ye shall not say, The burden of the Lord;

39Therefore, behold, I, even I, will utterly forget you, and I will forsake you, and the city that I gave you and your fathers, and cast you out of my presence:

40And I will bring an everlasting reproach upon you, and a perpetual shame, which shall not be forgotten.

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