Gen Z: Genesis 49
1Jacob was like, "Yo sons, come through so I can spill the tea on what’s gonna go down in the last days."
2Gather up, listen up, sons of Jacob; pay attention to your dad Israel.
3Reuben, you’re my firstborn, my strength, the start of my legacy, pure vibes.
4But you’re as shaky as water; you won’t shine because you messed up with my bed.
5Simeon and Levi are bros; they’re lowkey savage with their drama.
6My soul is like, nah, I’m not rolling with their crew; they got mad anger and drama.
7Their anger is cursed, it’s wild and cruel; I’m splitting them up in Jacob, scattering them in Israel.
8Judah, you’re the one your fam’s gonna hype up; you’ll have your enemies on lock.
9Judah’s like a lion’s cub; you’re climbing up from the prey, chilling like a lion; who’s brave enough to mess with him?
10The scepter’s staying with Judah, and the law won’t leave until Shiloh shows up; everyone’s gonna gather around him.
11Tying his foal to the vine, and his donkey's colt to the best vine; he got his drip all wine-stained, like he's vibing with some grape juice.
12His eyes gonna be red from the wine, and his teeth all pearly white from the milk.
13Zebulun’s chilling by the sea, making it a whole vibe for ships; his territory stretches to Zidon.
14Issachar is a strong donkey, just chilling between two burdens, no cap.
15He peeped that rest was lit, and the land looked nice; he put in the work and became a servant, no doubt.
16Dan's gonna judge his crew, just like one of the Israel tribes do.
17Dan’s like a sneaky snake on the road, biting at horse heels, making the rider fall back, fr.
18I’ve been waiting for your salvation, God, periodt.
19Gad’s got a squad that might take him down, but he’ll bounce back at the end, no cap.
20Asher’s bread gonna be all rich, serving up the royal goodies, that’s bussin.
21Naphtali's got that freedom vibe, always dropping wisdom.
22Joseph's like a lit tree by the well, branches just vibin' over the wall.
23The archers came for him, throwing shade and hating hard.
24But his bow stayed strong, powered up by the one true God, the GOAT of Jacob.
25Your dad's God got your back, and the Almighty’s about to bless you with mad blessings from the sky and the deep.
26Your dad's blessings hit different, way above the fam blessings, they’re on Joseph’s head, shining like a crown.
27Benjamin's a wolf, hungry in the morning, feasting at night like a boss.
28These are the twelve tribes of Israel, and this is the blessing their dad dropped on them, each one getting their own hype.
29He told them, "I’m about to join my peeps, so bury me with my fam in the cave at Ephron's field."
30In the cave at Machpelah, near Mamre, in Canaan, which Abraham copped for a burial spot.
31They put Abraham and Sarah to rest there, also Isaac and Rebekah, and yeah, I buried Leah too.
32The land and cave were bought from the Heth fam, no cap.
33After giving his sons some final vibes, Jacob kicked back in bed, let go, and joined his crew.