1Joseph slid into Pharaoh's DMs, like, "Yo, my fam and their crew are here from Canaan, chilling in Goshen."

2He grabbed five of his bros and brought them to Pharaoh, no cap.

3Pharaoh asked them, "So what's your hustle?" They replied, "We’re all about that shepherd life, fr."

4They added, "We came here to vibe because there's no grass for our flocks back in Canaan; it's a whole famine situation."

5Pharaoh told Joseph, "Your dad and your bros are here, fam."

6"Egypt's got mad land; let your fam chill in the best spots, like Goshen. If you got any hard workers, make them my crew for the cattle."

7Joseph brought his dad Jacob to meet Pharaoh, and Jacob blessed him, straight up.

8Pharaoh asked Jacob, "How old are you, my dude?"

9Jacob replied, "I’ve been vibing for 130 years, but honestly, it’s been rough; I haven't hit the years my fam lived during their journeys."

10Jacob blessed Pharaoh again and bounced from his presence.

11Joseph brought his fam and gave them the best spot in Egypt, just like Pharaoh said. Goated move.

12Joseph hooked up his fam with bread, keeping it all chill for their crew.

13But yo, there was no bread anywhere; the famine was wild, and Egypt and Canaan were struggling hard.

14Joseph scooped up all the cash in Egypt and Canaan for the corn they bought and brought it to Pharaoh's crib.

15When cash ran dry, all the Egyptians hit up Joseph, like, “We need bread or we’re toast!”

16Joseph was like, “Trade me your cattle, I got you if the cash is sus.”

17They brought their cattle to Joseph, and he gave them bread for their horses and flocks, keeping everyone fed for that year.

18When the year wrapped up, they came back to him, like, “We gotta be real, our cash is gone, and we’re out of cattle too.”

19“Why should we die here, us and our land? Buy us and our land for bread, and we’ll be Pharaoh's crew, just give us seeds to survive.”

20So Joseph bought all of Egypt for Pharaoh since everyone sold their fields, and the land became Pharaoh's.

21So, he moved the people to cities all over Egypt, like, from one side to the other.

22The priests? Nah, they kept their land 'cause Pharaoh hooked them up with food.

23Joseph told the people, "Yo, I just bought you and your land for Pharaoh. Here’s some seeds, go plant that!"

24When you harvest, just remember to give Pharaoh one-fifth of it, and the rest is all yours for food and fam.

25They were like, "You saved our lives! We’ll be Pharaoh’s servants, no cap."

26Joseph made it a rule in Egypt that Pharaoh gets his fifth, except for the priests’ land, that was off-limits.

27Israel lived in Egypt, in Goshen, and they were thriving, like, multiplying hard.

28Jacob hung out in Egypt for seventeen years, living his best life at 147.

29When it was time for Israel to kick the bucket, he called Joseph and said, "If I’ve got your rizz, put your hand under my thigh and promise me, don’t bury me in Egypt."

30"I wanna chill with my ancestors, take me outta Egypt and bury me where they are." Joseph was like, "Bet, I got you."

31He was like, "Promise me," and dude promised. Then Israel straight up bowed down on the bed.

1Then Joseph came and told Pharaoh, and said, My father and my brethren, and their flocks, and their herds, and all that they have, are come out of the land of Canaan; and, behold, they are in the land of Goshen.

2And he took some of his brethren, even five men, and presented them unto Pharaoh.

3And Pharaoh said unto his brethren, What is your occupation? And they said unto Pharaoh, Thy servants are shepherds, both we, and also our fathers.

4They said moreover unto Pharaoh, For to sojourn in the land are we come; for thy servants have no pasture for their flocks; for the famine is sore in the land of Canaan: now therefore, we pray thee, let thy servants dwell in the land of Goshen.

5And Pharaoh spake unto Joseph, saying, Thy father and thy brethren are come unto thee:

6The land of Egypt is before thee; in the best of the land make thy father and brethren to dwell; in the land of Goshen let them dwell: and if thou knowest any men of activity among them, then make them rulers over my cattle.

7And Joseph brought in Jacob his father, and set him before Pharaoh: and Jacob blessed Pharaoh.

8And Pharaoh said unto Jacob, How old art thou?

9And Jacob said unto Pharaoh, The days of the years of my pilgrimage are an hundred and thirty years: few and evil have the days of the years of my life been, and have not attained unto the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their pilgrimage.

10And Jacob blessed Pharaoh, and went out from before Pharaoh.

11And Joseph placed his father and his brethren, and gave them a possession in the land of Egypt, in the best of the land, in the land of Rameses, as Pharaoh had commanded.

12And Joseph nourished his father, and his brethren, and all his father’s household, with bread, according to their families.

13And there was no bread in all the land; for the famine was very sore, so that the land of Egypt and all the land of Canaan fainted by reason of the famine.

14And Joseph gathered up all the money that was found in the land of Egypt, and in the land of Canaan, for the corn which they bought: and Joseph brought the money into Pharaoh’s house.

15And when money failed in the land of Egypt, and in the land of Canaan, all the Egyptians came unto Joseph, and said, Give us bread: for why should we die in thy presence? for the money faileth.

16And Joseph said, Give your cattle; and I will give you for your cattle, if money fail.

17And they brought their cattle unto Joseph: and Joseph gave them bread in exchange for horses, and for the flocks, and for the cattle of the herds, and for the asses: and he fed them with bread for all their cattle for that year.

18When that year was ended, they came unto him the second year, and said unto him, We will not hide it from my lord, how that our money is spent; my lord also hath our herds of cattle; there is not ought left in the sight of my lord, but our bodies, and our lands:

19Wherefore shall we die before thine eyes, both we and our land? buy us and our land for bread, and we and our land will be servants unto Pharaoh: and give us seed, that we may live, and not die, that the land be not desolate.

20And Joseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh; for the Egyptians sold every man his field, because the famine prevailed over them: so the land became Pharaoh’s.

21And as for the people, he removed them to cities from one end of the borders of Egypt even to the other end thereof.

22Only the land of the priests bought he not; for the priests had a portion assigned them of Pharaoh, and did eat their portion which Pharaoh gave them: wherefore they sold not their lands.

23Then Joseph said unto the people, Behold, I have bought you this day and your land for Pharaoh: lo, here is seed for you, and ye shall sow the land.

24And it shall come to pass in the increase, that ye shall give the fifth part unto Pharaoh, and four parts shall be your own, for seed of the field, and for your food, and for them of your households, and for food for your little ones.

25And they said, Thou hast saved our lives: let us find grace in the sight of my lord, and we will be Pharaoh’s servants.

26And Joseph made it a law over the land of Egypt unto this day, that Pharaoh should have the fifth part; except the land of the priests only, which became not Pharaoh’s.

27And Israel dwelt in the land of Egypt, in the country of Goshen; and they had possessions therein, and grew, and multiplied exceedingly.

28And Jacob lived in the land of Egypt seventeen years: so the whole age of Jacob was an hundred forty and seven years.

29And the time drew nigh that Israel must die: and he called his son Joseph, and said unto him, If now I have found grace in thy sight, put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh, and deal kindly and truly with me; bury me not, I pray thee, in Egypt:

30But I will lie with my fathers, and thou shalt carry me out of Egypt, and bury me in their buryingplace. And he said, I will do as thou hast said.

31And he said, Swear unto me. And he sware unto him. And Israel bowed himself upon the bed’s head.