Gen Z: Genesis 32
1Jacob was on his grind, and then the angels showed up like, "What’s good?"
2Jacob peeped them and was like, "This is God’s squad," and named the spot Mahanaim.
3Jacob sent his crew ahead to Esau, his bro, in the land of Seir, Edom vibes.
4He was like, "Tell my dude Esau, your boy Jacob’s been chillin' with Laban, still here, no cap."
5"I got oxen, donkeys, flocks, and servants, just tryna find some rizz with you, fam."
6The messengers came back, like, "Yo, Esau’s rollin' up to meet you with 400 homies."
7Jacob was shook and stressed, so he split his crew and his stuff into two squads.
8He said, "If Esau hits one group, the other can dip, periodt."
9Jacob prayed, "Yo, God of my pops Abraham and Isaac, you told me to come back and you’d bless me."
10"I ain't worthy of all the good vibes and truth you've shown me; I crossed this Jordan with just my staff, and now I’m rolling deep."
11Yo, help me out from my bro and Esau 'cause I'm lowkey scared he’ll come at me and my fam.
12You said you’d hook me up, make my fam as countless as the sand on the beach, no cap.
13So, he crashed there that night and grabbed some gifts for Esau, his brother.
14Two hundred female goats, twenty male goats, two hundred ewes, and twenty rams, lit.
15Thirty milking camels with their babies, forty cows, and ten bulls, plus twenty female donkeys and ten foals.
16He split them up for his squad, telling them to go ahead and keep space between the groups.
17He told the first group, “When Esau meets you and asks whose you are and where you’re headed, what’s the vibe?”
18Just say, “These are for your boy Jacob; it’s a gift for my dude Esau, and he’s right behind us.”
19Then he told the second and third groups, “This is how you gotta chat with Esau when you see him.”
20And add, “Yo, your servant Jacob’s chilling behind us. I’m trying to vibe with him after I drop off these gifts, hoping he’ll be cool with me.”
21So Jacob sent the gifts ahead and chilled that night with his crew.
22Then he got up at night, took his two wives, two side girls, and his eleven sons, and crossed the Jabbok river.
23He sent them across the stream and kept whatever he had with him.
24Jacob was solo, and a dude showed up to wrestle with him until sunrise.
25When the guy saw he couldn’t win, he touched Jacob's hip, and it got all messed up while they were wrestling.
26The dude was like, “Let me go, dawn’s coming,” and Jacob was like, “Nah, not until you bless me.”
27The dude asked him, “What’s your name?” and Jacob said, “It’s Jacob.”
28He said, “You’re not gonna be called Jacob anymore, but Israel, 'cause you got mad rizz with God and people, and you’ve come out on top.”
29Jacob was like, “Yo, what’s your name?” and the dude said, “Why you trippin’ on my name?” Then he blessed him there.
30Jacob named the place Peniel, saying, “I saw God face to face, and I’m still here, no cap.”
31As he rolled past Penuel, the sun came up, and he was straight vibin' on his thigh.
32So now, the peeps of Israel don’t munch on that sinew that got weak on the thigh, 'cause he touched Jacob's thigh where it got all sus.