1So, like, during the reign of Amraphel, king of Shinar, and his squad—Arioch, Chedorlaomer, and Tidal—things were wild.

2They threw down with Bera, king of Sodom, and Birsha, king of Gomorrah, plus Shinab of Admah and Shemeber of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela, aka Zoar.

3All these kings teamed up in the vale of Siddim, which is just the salty sea, no cap.

4They served Chedorlaomer for twelve years, but in year thirteen, they were like, "Nah, we’re out."

5Then in year fourteen, Chedorlaomer and his crew pulled up and wrecked the Rephaims at Ashteroth Karnaim, the Zuzims in Ham, and the Emims at Shaveh Kiriathaim.

6They also took on the Horites in Mount Seir, all the way to El-paran, near the wild.

7They bounced back to En-mishpat, aka Kadesh, and wiped out the Amalekites and Amorites chilling in Hazezon-tamar.

8Then the kings of Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, Zeboiim, and Bela (Zoar, for real) rolled out and battled in the vale of Siddim.

9They faced off against Chedorlaomer, Tidal, Amraphel, and Arioch; four kings versus five, savage vibes.

10The vale of Siddim was stacked with slimepits, and Sodom and Gomorrah’s kings dipped but got caught up; the ones left ran to the mountains.

11They snagged all the stuff from Sodom and Gomorrah, took their eats, and dipped.

12They also grabbed Lot, Abram’s bro’s kid, who was chillin’ in Sodom, and bounced with his stuff.

13Then someone who escaped came through and told Abram the Hebrew, 'cause he was posted up in the Mamre area with his homies.

14When Abram heard his bro got snatched, he suited up his crew of 318, who were raised in his crib, and went after them.

15He split his squad up at night and went hard on them, chasing to Hobah, which is near Damascus.

16He brought back all the loot, plus his bro Lot and his stuff, along with the women and the people.

17The king of Sodom rolled out to meet him after the whole Chedorlaomer situation, in the king’s valley.

18Melchizedek, king of Salem, showed up with bread and wine; he was the priest of the most high God.

19He blessed Abram and said, “Yo, blessed be Abram of the most high God, owner of heaven and earth.”

20And blessed be the most high God, who handed your enemies over to you. He gave Abram a vibe check with tithes of all.

21The king of Sodom was like, "Yo Abram, gimme the people, you can keep the loot."

22Abram hit back, "I’m vibing with the Most High God, who’s got the whole universe on lock."

23"I ain’t taking a single thing from you, not even a shoelace, so you can't flex saying you made me rich."

24"Only what my crew ate and what my homies Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre get, they can grab their share."

1And it came to pass in the days of Amraphel king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Chedorlaomer king of Elam, and Tidal king of nations;

2That these made war with Bera king of Sodom, and with Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, and Shemeber king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela, which is Zoar.

3All these were joined together in the vale of Siddim, which is the salt sea.

4Twelve years they served Chedorlaomer, and in the thirteenth year they rebelled.

5And in the fourteenth year came Chedorlaomer, and the kings that were with him, and smote the Rephaims in Ashteroth Karnaim, and the Zuzims in Ham, and the Emims in Shaveh Kiriathaim,

6And the Horites in their mount Seir, unto El–paran, which is by the wilderness.

7And they returned, and came to En–mishpat, which is Kadesh, and smote all the country of the Amalekites, and also the Amorites, that dwelt in Hazezon–tamar.

8And there went out the king of Sodom, and the king of Gomorrah, and the king of Admah, and the king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela (the same is Zoar;) and they joined battle with them in the vale of Siddim;

9With Chedorlaomer the king of Elam, and with Tidal king of nations, and Amraphel king of Shinar, and Arioch king of Ellasar; four kings with five.

10And the vale of Siddim was full of slimepits; and the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fled, and fell there; and they that remained fled to the mountain.

11And they took all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah, and all their victuals, and went their way.

12And they took Lot, Abram’s brother’s son, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed.

13And there came one that had escaped, and told Abram the Hebrew; for he dwelt in the plain of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol, and brother of Aner: and these were confederate with Abram.

14And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his trained servants, born in his own house, three hundred and eighteen, and pursued them unto Dan.

15And he divided himself against them, he and his servants, by night, and smote them, and pursued them unto Hobah, which is on the left hand of Damascus.

16And he brought back all the goods, and also brought again his brother Lot, and his goods, and the women also, and the people.

17And the king of Sodom went out to meet him after his return from the slaughter of Chedorlaomer, and of the kings that were with him, at the valley of Shaveh, which is the king’s dale.

18And Melchizedek king of Salem brought forth bread and wine: and he was the priest of the most high God.

19And he blessed him, and said, Blessed be Abram of the most high God, possessor of heaven and earth:

20And blessed be the most high God, which hath delivered thine enemies into thy hand. And he gave him tithes of all.

21And the king of Sodom said unto Abram, Give me the persons, and take the goods to thyself.

22And Abram said to the king of Sodom, I have lift up mine hand unto the Lord, the most high God, the possessor of heaven and earth,

23That I will not take from a thread even to a shoelatchet, and that I will not take any thing that is thine, lest thou shouldest say, I have made Abram rich:

24Save only that which the young men have eaten, and the portion of the men which went with me, Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre; let them take their portion.