Exodus 22

Gen Z: Exodus 22

1If a dude steals an ox or a sheep and kills it or sells it, he gotta give back five oxen for one ox and four sheep for one sheep.

2If a thief gets caught breaking in and ends up dead, no cap, no blood needs to be spilled for him.

3But if the sun's up and he gets wrecked, blood's on him; he better make that full restitution, and if he can't, he’s getting sold for his theft.

4If the stolen goods are found alive in his hands, whether it's an ox, donkey, or sheep, he gotta give back double.

5If a guy lets his beast munch on someone else's field or vineyard, he gotta pay back the best of his own stuff for the damage.

6If a fire breaks out and burns up the crops, the one who started the fire is totally on the hook for that restitution.

7If a dude gives his neighbor cash or stuff to hold and it gets stolen, if they find the thief, he’s gotta pay back double.

8If they don’t find the thief, the house owner gotta show up to the judges to prove he didn’t mess with his neighbor’s stuff.

9For any kind of theft, whether it’s an ox, donkey, sheep, clothes, or anything lost that someone claims, both sides gotta take it to the judges; whoever loses gotta pay double to the other.

10If a guy lends his neighbor a donkey, ox, sheep, or any beast to keep and it dies, gets hurt, or runs off, and no one saw it:

11So there’s this vibe where they promise each other, like, “I didn’t touch your stuff,” and the owner’s cool with it, no cap.

12But if someone jacks it, gotta pay the owner back, fr.

13If it’s all ripped up, bring it as proof, but no need to replace what got wrecked.

14If you borrow something and it gets messed up or dies, and the owner isn’t around, you gotta make it right, periodt.

15But if the owner’s there, you don’t have to replace it; if it’s a hired thing, that’s just how it goes.

16If a dude tries to charm a girl who’s not taken and they hook up, he’s gotta step up and make her his wife, no cap.

17If her dad straight up says no, he’s gotta drop some cash like the dowry for virgins, no cap.

18You can’t let any witch vibes slide; they gotta go.

19Anyone who gets down with a beast? Yeah, that’s a hard no; they’re done for.

20If you’re sacrificing to any god except the Lord, you’re getting wiped out, fr.

21Don't be a jerk to strangers or treat them bad, 'cause you were once outsiders in Egypt, no cap.

22Don't mess with any widows or kids without dads, that’s just savage.

23If you do hurt them and they call out to me, I'm definitely gonna hear their cry, fr.

24My anger will be lit, and I’ll come for you with the sword; your wives will be widows and your kids fatherless, periodt.

25If you lend cash to my peeps who are down bad, don't act like a loan shark, that's sus.

26If you take your neighbor's clothes as collateral, make sure to give it back before the sun sets, bet.

27'Cause that's their only cover; how they gonna sleep? When they call out to me, I’ll hear them, 'cause I’m gracious.

28Don’t trash talk the gods or throw shade at your leaders, that’s just not it.

29Don’t sleep on offering the first of your fruits and drinks; you gotta give me your firstborn sons, no cap.

30Do the same with your oxen and sheep: keep them with their moms for seven days, then give them to me on the eighth day.

31Y'all gotta be holy vibes for me: no eating any meat that’s been ripped by wild animals; just toss it to the dogs, no cap.

KJV: Exodus 22

1If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep.

2If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, there shall no blood be shed for him.

3If the sun be risen upon him, there shall be blood shed for him; for he should make full restitution; if he have nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft.

4If the theft be certainly found in his hand alive, whether it be ox, or ass, or sheep; he shall restore double.

5If a man shall cause a field or vineyard to be eaten, and shall put in his beast, and shall feed in another man’s field; of the best of his own field, and of the best of his own vineyard, shall he make restitution.

6If fire break out, and catch in thorns, so that the stacks of corn, or the standing corn, or the field, be consumed therewith; he that kindled the fire shall surely make restitution.

7If a man shall deliver unto his neighbour money or stuff to keep, and it be stolen out of the man’s house; if the thief be found, let him pay double.

8If the thief be not found, then the master of the house shall be brought unto the judges, to see whether he have put his hand unto his neighbour’s goods.

9For all manner of trespass, whether it be for ox, for ass, for sheep, for raiment, or for any manner of lost thing, which another challengeth to be his, the cause of both parties shall come before the judges; and whom the judges shall condemn, he shall pay double unto his neighbour.

10If a man deliver unto his neighbour an ass, or an ox, or a sheep, or any beast, to keep; and it die, or be hurt, or driven away, no man seeing it:

11Then shall an oath of the Lord be between them both, that he hath not put his hand unto his neighbour’s goods; and the owner of it shall accept thereof, and he shall not make it good.

12And if it be stolen from him, he shall make restitution unto the owner thereof.

13If it be torn in pieces, then let him bring it for witness, and he shall not make good that which was torn.

14And if a man borrow ought of his neighbour, and it be hurt, or die, the owner thereof being not with it, he shall surely make it good.

15But if the owner thereof be with it, he shall not make it good: if it be an hired thing, it came for his hire.

16And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.

17If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.

18Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

19Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death.

20He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the Lord only, he shall be utterly destroyed.

21Thou shalt neither vex a stranger, nor oppress him: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.

22Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child.

23If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry;

24And my wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless.

25If thou lend money to any of my people that is poor by thee, thou shalt not be to him as an usurer, neither shalt thou lay upon him usury.

26If thou at all take thy neighbour’s raiment to pledge, thou shalt deliver it unto him by that the sun goeth down:

27For that is his covering only, it is his raiment for his skin: wherein shall he sleep? and it shall come to pass, when he crieth unto me, that I will hear; for I am gracious.

28Thou shalt not revile the gods, nor curse the ruler of thy people.

29Thou shalt not delay to offer the first of thy ripe fruits, and of thy liquors: the firstborn of thy sons shalt thou give unto me.

30Likewise shalt thou do with thine oxen, and with thy sheep: seven days it shall be with his dam; on the eighth day thou shalt give it me.

31And ye shall be holy men unto me: neither shall ye eat any flesh that is torn of beasts in the field; ye shall cast it to the dogs.

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