1If someone gets bodied in the land that God gave you, just lying there, and no one knows who did it, that’s sus.

2Then the elders and judges gotta step up and check out the cities around where the dude got taken out.

3The city closest to the victim’s gotta grab a heifer that’s chill and hasn’t been worked yet.

4The elders of that city will take the heifer to a rough valley that’s not been farmed, and they’ll do the deed there.

5The priests, the Levi squad, will roll up since God picked them to bless everyone, and they’ll handle all the drama.

6All the elders from the city next to the victim gotta wash their hands over the heifer that got taken out in the valley.

7They’ll say, “We didn’t spill this blood, and we didn’t see it go down.”

8Be chill, God, with your people Israel, whom you saved, and don’t hold innocent blood against them. The blood’s forgiven, periodt.

9You’ll clear the guilt of innocent blood from among you when you do what’s right in God’s eyes.

10When you head out to battle against your enemies, and God hands them over to you, and you take them captive,

11And you spot a baddie among the captives and wanna make her your wife,

12Bring her home, and she’ll shave her head and trim her nails.

13She’ll ditch her old clothes and stay at your place, mourning her fam for a whole month; then you can be her husband, and she’ll be your wife.

14If you’re not vibing with her after that, you can let her go wherever she wants, but no selling her or treating her like a product, ‘cause you’ve humbled her.

15If a dude has two wives, one he loves and one he doesn’t, and they’ve given him kids, including the firstborn from the one he’s not into,

16When it’s time to pass down the inheritance, he can’t put the kid from the one he loves ahead of the firstborn from the one he doesn’t.

17He’s gotta recognize the firstborn from the hated wife and give him double of everything, ‘cause that’s where his strength starts; the firstborn rights are his.

18If a guy has a stubborn and rebellious son who won’t listen to his parents, even after they try to correct him,

19His parents will grab him and take him to the city elders at the gate.

20They’ll tell the elders, “This kid is wild and won’t listen; he’s a glutton and a drunk.”

21Then all the men in the city will stone him until he’s done. That’s how you get rid of evil among you, and all Israel will hear and be shook.

22If a dude does something that deserves death and he’s set to be executed, and you hang him on a tree,

23His body can’t stay up all night; you gotta bury him that day, ‘cause anyone hanged is cursed by God, and you don’t want your land messed up, which God gave you as an inheritance.

1If one be found slain in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee to possess it, lying in the field, and it be not known who hath slain him:

2Then thy elders and thy judges shall come forth, and they shall measure unto the cities which are round about him that is slain:

3And it shall be, that the city which is next unto the slain man, even the elders of that city shall take an heifer, which hath not been wrought with, and which hath not drawn in the yoke;

4And the elders of that city shall bring down the heifer unto a rough valley, which is neither eared nor sown, and shall strike off the heifer’s neck there in the valley:

5And the priests the sons of Levi shall come near; for them the Lord thy God hath chosen to minister unto him, and to bless in the name of the Lord; and by their word shall every controversy and every stroke be tried:

6And all the elders of that city, that are next unto the slain man, shall wash their hands over the heifer that is beheaded in the valley:

7And they shall answer and say, Our hands have not shed this blood, neither have our eyes seen it.

8Be merciful, O Lord, unto thy people Israel, whom thou hast redeemed, and lay not innocent blood unto thy people of Israel’s charge. And the blood shall be forgiven them.

9So shalt thou put away the guilt of innocent blood from among you, when thou shalt do that which is right in the sight of the Lord.

10When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,

11And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;

12Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;

13And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.

14And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her.

15If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated:

16Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn:

17But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.

18If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

19Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;

20And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

21And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

22And if a man have committed a sin worthy of death, and he be to be put to death, and thou hang him on a tree:

23His body shall not remain all night upon the tree, but thou shalt in any wise bury him that day; (for he that is hanged is accursed of God;) that thy land be not defiled, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.