Gen Z: Deuteronomy 18
1The Levite squad, like, gets no land or cash from Israel; they just vibe off the Lord's fire offerings, and that's their deal.
2So, they ain't getting any inheritance from their fam; the Lord is their whole vibe, just like He said.
3The priests get their due from the people who bring sacrifices, whether it’s a cow or a sheep; they get the shoulder, the cheeks, and the stomach, no cap.
4You gotta give him the first of your grain, wine, oil, and the first fleece from your sheep, periodt.
5The Lord your God picked him from all your tribes to be the one to rep Him, him and his fam forever, that’s goated.
6If a Levite rolls up from any of your towns in Israel where he’s been chilling, and he’s all about that vibe to go to the place the Lord picks;
7He will serve in the name of the Lord his God, just like all the other Levites who are there serving vibes before the Lord.
8They’ll all eat the same stuff, plus whatever they make from selling their family land, that’s lit.
9When you step into the land the Lord your God is giving you, don’t catch those bad vibes from the nations around you.
10Don’t let anyone among you make their kid pass through fire, or dabble in divination, or check the stars, or be a witch, that’s sus.
11Or a charmer, or someone who talks to spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer, fr.
12All these things are straight-up abominations to the Lord; because of these vibes, He’s driving them out before you.
13You gotta be perfect with the Lord your God, no cap.
14These nations you’re taking over listened to star-gazers and diviners, but the Lord your God ain’t letting you roll like that.
15The Lord your God is gonna raise up a Prophet from your own crew, just like me; you gotta listen to him.
16Just like you asked the Lord your God at Horeb during the assembly, saying, "I don’t wanna hear His voice or see this fire again, I might die."
17And the Lord was like, "They spoke well."
18I’ll raise them up a Prophet from their crew, like you, and put my words in his mouth; he’ll say everything I command him.
19And if anyone doesn’t listen to my words he’s gonna say in my name, I’ll hold them accountable, no cap.
20But the prophet who thinks he can say something in my name that I didn’t tell him to say, or speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet’s gonna die.
21And if you’re like, "How will we know if the Lord didn’t say that?"
22When a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord and it doesn’t happen, that’s a sign the Lord didn’t say it; he just took a shot, so don’t be scared of him.