1Yo, I wrote this whole vibe for you, Theophilus, about all the lit stuff Jesus did and taught.

2Until the day He bounced up, after He dropped some commandments through the Holy Ghost to the chosen apostles.

3He flexed on them, showing up alive after His struggle, with mad proof for forty days, talking about the kingdom of God.

4While they were chilling together, He told them to stay in Jerusalem and wait for the Father’s promise, which you heard from me, no cap.

5For John was all about that water baptism, but you’re gonna get baptized with the Holy Ghost soon, fr.

6When they gathered, they asked Him, "Lord, are you gonna bring back the kingdom to Israel now?"

7He was like, "That’s not for you to know, fam; the Father’s got that in His own power."

8But you’ll get some serious power when the Holy Ghost comes on you, and you’ll be my witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and everywhere, periodt.

9After He said this, while they were watching, He got taken up, and a cloud just scooped Him outta sight.

10As they were staring up at heaven while He went up, two dudes in white outfits showed up next to them.

11Yo, why y’all just staring up at the sky? This same Jesus, who just ascended, is gonna come back just like you saw Him bounce. No cap.

12Then they dipped back to Jerusalem from the Mount of Olives, which is a chill walk away.

13When they rolled in, they hit up the upper room where the squad was: Peter, James, John, Andrew, Philip, Thomas, Bartholomew, Matthew, James the son of Alpheus, Simon Zelotes, and Judas, bro of James.

14They all vibed together, praying and seeking, with the ladies, Mary the mom of Jesus, and His fam.

15During those days, Peter stood up in front of the crew and said, “We got about 120 names here.”

16Fam, this verse had to happen, just like the Holy Spirit told David about Judas, who was the one leading the squad that took Jesus.

17He was one of us and got a piece of this ministry.

18But this dude bought a field with his shady cash; then he fell hard and split open, and all his insides went everywhere.

19Everyone in Jerusalem heard about it, so they called that field Aceldama, which means the field of blood.

20It’s written in the Psalms, “Let his place be empty, and nobody chill there: and let someone else take his spot.”

21So, like, they needed to pick someone who’s been vibin' with us since Jesus was doing His thing.

22Starting from John’s baptism all the way to the day Jesus bounced, we gotta find someone to witness His resurrection with us, no cap.

23They picked two dudes, Joseph, aka Barsabas, and Matthias.

24They prayed, asking the Lord, "You know everyone’s hearts, show us who you want from these two."

25This person needs to be part of the ministry and apostleship that Judas dipped out from to go to his own place.

26They cast lots, and it landed on Matthias; he joined the eleven apostles, straight up.

1The former treatise have I made, O Theophilus, of all that Jesus began both to do and teach,

2Until the day in which he was taken up, after that he through the Holy Ghost had given commandments unto the apostles whom he had chosen:

3To whom also he shewed himself alive after his passion by many infallible proofs, being seen of them forty days, and speaking of the things pertaining to the kingdom of God:

4And, being assembled together with them, commanded them that they should not depart from Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of the Father, which, saith he, ye have heard of me.

5For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence.

6When they therefore were come together, they asked of him, saying, Lord, wilt thou at this time restore again the kingdom to Israel?

7And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power.

8But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.

9And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight.

10And while they looked stedfastly toward heaven as he went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel;

11Which also said, Ye men of Galilee, why stand ye gazing up into heaven? this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven.

12Then returned they unto Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is from Jerusalem a sabbath day’s journey.

13And when they were come in, they went up into an upper room, where abode both Peter, and James, and John, and Andrew, Philip, and Thomas, Bartholomew, and Matthew, James the son of Alpheus, and Simon Zelotes, and Judas the brother of James.

14These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren.

15And in those days Peter stood up in the midst of the disciples, and said, (the number of names together were about an hundred and twenty,)

16Men and brethren, this scripture must needs have been fulfilled, which the Holy Ghost by the mouth of David spake before concerning Judas, which was guide to them that took Jesus.

17For he was numbered with us, and had obtained part of this ministry.

18Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.

19And it was known unto all the dwellers at Jerusalem; insomuch as that field is called in their proper tongue, Aceldama, that is to say, The field of blood.

20For it is written in the book of Psalms, Let his habitation be desolate, and let no man dwell therein: and his bishoprick let another take.

21Wherefore of these men which have companied with us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us,

22Beginning from the baptism of John, unto that same day that he was taken up from us, must one be ordained to be a witness with us of his resurrection.

23And they appointed two, Joseph called Barsabas, who was surnamed Justus, and Matthias.

24And they prayed, and said, Thou, Lord, which knowest the hearts of all men, shew whether of these two thou hast chosen,

25That he may take part of this ministry and apostleship, from which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place.

26And they gave forth their lots; and the lot fell upon Matthias; and he was numbered with the eleven apostles.