1So, after all that, Absalom, David's son, had a super cute sister named Tamar, and Amnon, also David’s son, was totally crushing on her.

2Amnon was so stressed about it, he was like sick over Tamar, 'cause she was a total virgin, and he thought it was sus to do anything.

3But Amnon had this homie named Jonadab, who was David's bro's son, and he was slick with the moves, no cap.

4Jonadab was like, "Why you lookin' all down, king's son? Spill the tea." Amnon was like, "I’m vibing for Tamar, my bro Absalom’s sister."

5Jonadab was like, "Bet, just fake sick in bed, and when your dad rolls through, tell him to send Tamar to hook you up with some food."

6So Amnon played sick, and when the king came to check on him, he said, "Yo, let Tamar come and make me some cakes so I can eat."

7Then David hit up Tamar, saying, "Slide over to your bro Amnon's crib and whip him up some food."

8Tamar went to Amnon's place, and he was chilling in bed. She took some flour, kneaded it, and made those cakes right in front of him.

9She poured them out for him, but he was like, "Nah, I’m good. Everyone, get out." And all the guys bounced.

10Amnon told Tamar, "Bring the food into the room so I can eat from your hands." Tamar took the cakes she made and brought them to Amnon.

11So she brought them to him to eat, and he was like, "Yo, come chill with me, fam."

12She was like, "Nah, bro, don’t force it; that’s sus in Israel. Don’t do this wildness."

13And I’m like, where am I supposed to go with this shame? You’ll look like a fool in Israel. Just talk to the king; he won’t block me from you.

14But he wasn’t having it; he was stronger, so he forced it and got with her.

15After that, Amnon was straight-up hating her; his hate was way more than the love he had for her. He told her, "Get outta here."

16She was like, "This is messed up; sending me away is worse than what you just did." But he wouldn’t listen.

17Then he called his servant and said, "Get this girl outta here and lock the door behind her."

18She was wearing this dope multi-colored outfit; that’s how the king's daughters rolled. His servant kicked her out and locked the door.

19Tamar put ashes on her head, tore her colorful outfit, and was crying hard.

20Absalom, her bro, asked her, "Did Amnon mess with you? Just chill, sis; he’s your brother. Don’t let this get to you." So Tamar stayed feeling empty in Absalom’s place.

21But when king David heard all this tea, he was super mad, no cap.

22And Absalom talked to his bro Amnon, but like, he had no good vibes, 'cause he straight up hated him for what he did to Tamar.

23After two whole years, Absalom threw a sheepshearing party in Baal-hazor, just chilling next to Ephraim, and he invited all the king’s sons, lit.

24Absalom rolled up to the king and was like, "Yo, I got sheepshearers; let’s vibe, king, you and your crew come with me."

25The king was like, "Nah, my dude, let’s not all roll out, we don’t wanna be a burden." But Absalom was persistent, so he just blessed him instead.

26Then Absalom was like, "If not, can my bro Amnon come with us?" And the king was like, "Why should he roll with you?"

27But Absalom kept pushing, and finally got the king to let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him, periodt.

28Now Absalom had told his squad, "Yo, keep an eye on Amnon when he’s feeling lit with the wine, and when I say 'go,' take him out; I got your back, be brave."

29And Absalom's crew did exactly what he said. Then all the king’s sons bounced on their mules and dipped out.

30While they were on their way, word hit David that Absalom had taken out all the king’s sons, and there wasn’t a single one left, sus.

31Then the king got up, ripped his fit, and laid on the ground; all his crew was standing there looking sus with their clothes torn.

32Jonadab, David's bro Shimeah's son, was like, "Yo, don’t think all the king’s sons are gone; Amnon's the only one who got clapped. This was set up by Absalom since he did his sis Tamar dirty."

33So, for real, don’t stress, my lord; not all the king’s sons are out; Amnon’s the only one who’s dead.

34But Absalom dipped. The lookout dude peeped and saw a whole squad coming down the hill behind him.

35Jonadab told the king, "Yo, the king’s sons are rolling up: just like I said, it’s true."

36And as soon as he finished talking, boom, the king’s sons showed up, crying hard; even the king and his crew were weeping heavy.

37But Absalom bounced and went to Talmai, Ammihud's son, king of Geshur. David was lowkey mourning for his son every day.

38So Absalom ghosted to Geshur and chilled there for three years.

39And King David was really missing Absalom; he felt better about Amnon since he was gone.

1And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

2And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.

3But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man.

4And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king’s son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.

5And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.

6So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.

7Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon’s house, and dress him meat.

8So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.

9And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.

10And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.

11And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.

12And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.

13And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.

14Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.

15Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.

16And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her.

17Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.

18And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king’s daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her.

19And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.

20And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.

21But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth.

22And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

23And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal–hazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king’s sons.

24And Absalom came to the king, and said, Behold now, thy servant hath sheepshearers; let the king, I beseech thee, and his servants go with thy servant.

25And the king said to Absalom, Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee. And he pressed him: howbeit he would not go, but blessed him.

26Then said Absalom, If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said unto him, Why should he go with thee?

27But Absalom pressed him, that he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.

28Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant.

29And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and every man gat him up upon his mule, and fled.

30And it came to pass, while they were in the way, that tidings came to David, saying, Absalom hath slain all the king’s sons, and there is not one of them left.

31Then the king arose, and tare his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent.

32And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king’s sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom this hath been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar.

33Now therefore let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead: for Amnon only is dead.

34But Absalom fled. And the young man that kept the watch lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, there came much people by the way of the hill side behind him.

35And Jonadab said unto the king, Behold, the king’s sons come: as thy servant said, so it is.

36And it came to pass, as soon as he had made an end of speaking, that, behold, the king’s sons came, and lifted up their voice and wept: and the king also and all his servants wept very sore.

37But Absalom fled, and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day.

38So Absalom fled, and went to Geshur, and was there three years.

39And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead.