1So, there was this woman whose hubby was a prophet, and she was like, "Yo, my man's dead, and you know he was all about that God life. Now some dude wants to take my two sons as his servants."

2Elisha was like, "Ayo, what do you need from me? What you got in the crib?" She replied, "I got nothing but a pot of oil, no cap."

3Then he told her, "Go hit up your neighbors and borrow some empty vessels, like, don’t skimp on this."

4"When you get back, shut the door behind you and your sons, then pour that oil into all the vessels, and keep the full ones on the side."

5So she bounced from him, locked the door with her sons, who brought her the vessels, and she started pouring.

6When the vessels were full, she told her son, "Yo, bring me another vessel." He was like, "We out, no more vessels." And the oil just chilled.

7Then she went and told the man of God, and he said, "Go sell that oil, pay off your debts, and you and your kids can live off the rest. Periodt."

8One day, Elisha was passing through Shunem, and there was this dope woman who was like, "You gotta eat with us." So, every time he passed by, he popped in for bread.

9She told her husband, "Babe, I think this dude is a holy man of God, he rolls by us all the time."

10"Let’s make him a little room on the wall, and set up a bed, table, stool, and a lamp for him; when he comes, he can chill here."

11One day, he rolled up to the crib, hit the chamber, and just laid down.

12He told his homie Gehazi, "Yo, get that Shunammite in here." When she showed up, she stood in front of him.

13He asked her, "Yo, you've been so extra for us; what can we do for you? Need me to chat with the king or the captain?" She was like, "Nah, I chill with my own peeps."

14He said, "So what’s the move for her?" Gehazi was like, "Fr, she’s childless, and her hubby’s getting old."

15He said, "Call her over." When she came, she stood in the doorway.

16He told her, "This time next year, you’ll be holding a son." She was like, "No cap, my dude, don’t play me like that."

17The woman got pregnant and had a son just like Elisha said, right on time.

18When the kid was older, one day he went out to his dad where the harvesters were.

19He said to his dad, "My head, my head!" So the dad told a servant, "Take him to his mom."

20The servant took him to his mom, and he sat on her lap till noon, then he passed away.

21She rolled up, laid him on the bed like a boss, shut the door, and dipped out.

22She hit up her hubby, like, "Yo, send me one of the young dudes and a donkey so I can bounce to the man of God and be back."

23He was like, "Why you tryna see him today? It ain't even a holiday." She replied, "It's all good, fr."

24So she saddled a donkey and told her servant, "Let’s go, no chill unless I say so."

25She cruised to the man of God at Mount Carmel. When he spotted her from a distance, he told Gehazi, "Yo, check it out, that's the Shunammite."

26"Run and catch her, ask if she’s good, if her hubby's good, and if the kid's good." She was like, "All good, periodt."

27When she got to the man of God on the hill, she grabbed his feet, but Gehazi tried to push her away. The man of God was like, "Chill, let her be; she’s stressed and I ain't got the scoop."

28Then she was like, "Did I even ask for a son? Didn't I say, 'Don't play me'?"

29He told Gehazi, "Get your gear, take my staff, and bounce. If you run into anyone, don’t even say what’s up; just lay my staff on the kid’s face."

30The kid's mom was like, "As the Lord lives and your soul lives, I’m not leaving you." So he got up and followed her.

31Gehazi was like, "I got this," and laid the staff on the kid's face, but no vibes, no sound. So he bounced back to meet him, saying, "The kid's still snoozin'."

32Elisha rolled up into the crib, and boom, the kid was dead, just chillin' on the bed.

33He went in, shut the door on them both, and prayed to the Lord, for real.

34Then he laid on the kid, mouth to mouth, eyes to eyes, hands to hands, and stretched out on him; the kid's body started to warm up, no cap.

35He bounced around the house, then laid back on him again; the kid sneezed seven times and opened his eyes, lit!

36He called Gehazi, saying, "Get that Shunammite in here." So he did. When she came in, he was like, "Pick up your son."

37She went in, dropped to his feet, bowed down, grabbed her son, and dipped out.

38Elisha hit up Gilgal again, and there was a famine; the prophet squad was chilling with him, and he told his servant, "Get that big pot going and whip up some stew for the squad."

39One of them went out to grab some herbs, found a wild vine, and picked a lap full of wild gourds, then tossed them in the pot, didn’t even know what was good.

40They served it up for the crew to eat, but while munching, they were like, "Yo, man of God, there’s something sus in the pot." They couldn’t eat it, periodt.

41But he was like, "Aight, bring the meal." He tossed it in the pot and said, "Serve it up for the crew, they gotta eat." No cap, the pot was chill.

42Then a dude from Baal–shalisha pulled up with some firstfruits bread, twenty barley loaves, and fresh corn still in the husk. He was like, "Feed the squad, they gotta eat."

43His homie was like, "Bruh, should I really set this up for a hundred people?" He said again, "Just give it to the squad, they’ll eat, no cap, and still have leftovers."

44So he put it out for them, they feasted, and had leftovers, just like the Lord said.

1Now there cried a certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets unto Elisha, saying, Thy servant my husband is dead; and thou knowest that thy servant did fear the Lord: and the creditor is come to take unto him my two sons to be bondmen.

2And Elisha said unto her, What shall I do for thee? tell me, what hast thou in the house? And she said, Thine handmaid hath not any thing in the house, save a pot of oil.

3Then he said, Go, borrow thee vessels abroad of all thy neighbours, even empty vessels; borrow not a few.

4And when thou art come in, thou shalt shut the door upon thee and upon thy sons, and shalt pour out into all those vessels, and thou shalt set aside that which is full.

5So she went from him, and shut the door upon her and upon her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured out.

6And it came to pass, when the vessels were full, that she said unto her son, Bring me yet a vessel. And he said unto her, There is not a vessel more. And the oil stayed.

7Then she came and told the man of God. And he said, Go, sell the oil, and pay thy debt, and live thou and thy children of the rest.

8And it fell on a day, that Elisha passed to Shunem, where was a great woman; and she constrained him to eat bread. And so it was, that as oft as he passed by, he turned in thither to eat bread.

9And she said unto her husband, Behold now, I perceive that this is an holy man of God, which passeth by us continually.

10Let us make a little chamber, I pray thee, on the wall; and let us set for him there a bed, and a table, and a stool, and a candlestick: and it shall be, when he cometh to us, that he shall turn in thither.

11And it fell on a day, that he came thither, and he turned into the chamber, and lay there.

12And he said to Gehazi his servant, Call this Shunammite. And when he had called her, she stood before him.

13And he said unto him, Say now unto her, Behold, thou hast been careful for us with all this care; what is to be done for thee? wouldest thou be spoken for to the king, or to the captain of the host? And she answered, I dwell among mine own people.

14And he said, What then is to be done for her? And Gehazi answered, Verily she hath no child, and her husband is old.

15And he said, Call her. And when he had called her, she stood in the door.

16And he said, About this season, according to the time of life, thou shalt embrace a son. And she said, Nay, my lord, thou man of God, do not lie unto thine handmaid.

17And the woman conceived, and bare a son at that season that Elisha had said unto her, according to the time of life.

18And when the child was grown, it fell on a day, that he went out to his father to the reapers.

19And he said unto his father, My head, my head. And he said to a lad, Carry him to his mother.

20And when he had taken him, and brought him to his mother, he sat on her knees till noon, and then died.

21And she went up, and laid him on the bed of the man of God, and shut the door upon him, and went out.

22And she called unto her husband, and said, Send me, I pray thee, one of the young men, and one of the asses, that I may run to the man of God, and come again.

23And he said, Wherefore wilt thou go to him to day? it is neither new moon, nor sabbath. And she said, It shall be well.

24Then she saddled an ass, and said to her servant, Drive, and go forward; slack not thy riding for me, except I bid thee.

25So she went and came unto the man of God to mount Carmel. And it came to pass, when the man of God saw her afar off, that he said to Gehazi his servant, Behold, yonder is that Shunammite:

26Run now, I pray thee, to meet her, and say unto her, Is it well with thee? is it well with thy husband? is it well with the child? And she answered, It is well.

27And when she came to the man of God to the hill, she caught him by the feet: but Gehazi came near to thrust her away. And the man of God said, Let her alone; for her soul is vexed within her: and the Lord hath hid it from me, and hath not told me.

28Then she said, Did I desire a son of my lord? did I not say, Do not deceive me?

29Then he said to Gehazi, Gird up thy loins, and take my staff in thine hand, and go thy way: if thou meet any man, salute him not; and if any salute thee, answer him not again: and lay my staff upon the face of the child.

30And the mother of the child said, As the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee. And he arose, and followed her.

31And Gehazi passed on before them, and laid the staff upon the face of the child; but there was neither voice, nor hearing. Wherefore he went again to meet him, and told him, saying, The child is not awaked.

32And when Elisha was come into the house, behold, the child was dead, and laid upon his bed.

33He went in therefore, and shut the door upon them twain, and prayed unto the Lord.

34And he went up, and lay upon the child, and put his mouth upon his mouth, and his eyes upon his eyes, and his hands upon his hands: and he stretched himself upon the child; and the flesh of the child waxed warm.

35Then he returned, and walked in the house to and fro; and went up, and stretched himself upon him: and the child sneezed seven times, and the child opened his eyes.

36And he called Gehazi, and said, Call this Shunammite. So he called her. And when she was come in unto him, he said, Take up thy son.

37Then she went in, and fell at his feet, and bowed herself to the ground, and took up her son, and went out.

38And Elisha came again to Gilgal: and there was a dearth in the land; and the sons of the prophets were sitting before him: and he said unto his servant, Set on the great pot, and seethe pottage for the sons of the prophets.

39And one went out into the field to gather herbs, and found a wild vine, and gathered thereof wild gourds his lap full, and came and shred them into the pot of pottage: for they knew them not.

40So they poured out for the men to eat. And it came to pass, as they were eating of the pottage, that they cried out, and said, O thou man of God, there is death in the pot. And they could not eat thereof.

41But he said, Then bring meal. And he cast it into the pot; and he said, Pour out for the people, that they may eat. And there was no harm in the pot.

42And there came a man from Baal–shalisha, and brought the man of God bread of the firstfruits, twenty loaves of barley, and full ears of corn in the husk thereof. And he said, Give unto the people, that they may eat.

43And his servitor said, What, should I set this before an hundred men? He said again, Give the people, that they may eat: for thus saith the Lord, They shall eat, and shall leave thereof.

44So he set it before them, and they did eat, and left thereof, according to the word of the Lord.