Gen Z: 1 Kings 16
1Yo, the Lord hit up Jehu, son of Hanani, with a message for Baasha, no cap.
2I pulled you from the dust and made you a prince over my peeps, Israel; but you went full savage, following Jeroboam and making my crew sin, making me mad with their vibes.
3Check it, I'm gonna wipe out Baasha's fam and make your house look like Jeroboam's, fr.
4Anyone who dies from Baasha in the city? Dogs gonna snack on them; out in the fields? The birds got that covered.
5So, what else Baasha did and all his power, ain't that all in the kings' chronicles?
6Baasha took a nap with his ancestors and got buried in Tirzah. Then his son Elah popped off and took over.
7The prophet Jehu, son of Hanani, also got the word from the Lord about Baasha and his squad, for all the sus stuff he did that made the Lord mad, being like Jeroboam and taking him out.
8In the 26th year of Asa, king of Judah, Elah, Baasha's son, started his reign over Israel in Tirzah for two years, no cap.
9His homie Zimri, captain of half his chariots, plotted against him while he was in Tirzah, getting lit at Arza's crib.
10Zimri rolled in, took him out, and in the 27th year of Asa, king of Judah, he took over, periodt.
11So when he started his reign and plopped down on the throne, he straight-up took out the whole fam of Baasha—no one left, not even the homies.
12Zimri went full savage and wiped out Baasha's crew, just like the Lord told Jehu the prophet to say.
13All the sus stuff Baasha did, plus his son Elah, made Israel act up and got God mad with their nonsense.
14For real, all the other stuff Elah did is totally written down in the kings’ chronicles, no cap.
15In the 27th year of Asa, king of Judah, Zimri ruled for just seven days in Tirzah while the squad was chillin' against Gibbethon, which was Philistine territory.
16The camp heard that Zimri was plotting and took out the king, so all of Israel crowned Omri, the homie in charge, as king that day.
17Omri and the whole crew rolled out from Gibbethon and laid siege to Tirzah.
18When Zimri saw the city was done for, he dipped into the palace and set it on fire, going out like a champ.
19He messed up big time, doing wrong in God's eyes, following Jeroboam’s bad vibes, and made Israel trip up.
20All the other wild things Zimri did and his betrayal are also written in the kings’ chronicles, periodt.
21The Israelites were split into two squads: half were vibin' with Tibni, son of Ginath, to make him king; the other half was all about Omri.
22But the Omri crew totally clapped back at Tibni's squad: so Tibni was out, and Omri took the throne.
23In Asa's thirty-first year as king of Judah, Omri started his reign over Israel for twelve years, with six of those in Tirzah.
24He copped the hill of Samaria from Shemer for two talents of silver, built up the spot, and named the city after Shemer, the hill's owner, calling it Samaria.
25But Omri was low-key sus in the eyes of the Lord, doing worse than anyone before him.
26He walked the same path as Jeroboam, son of Nebat, and his sins made Israel go off, provoking the Lord God of Israel with their drama.
27So, like, are the rest of Omri's moves and the power he flexed not written in the chronicles of the kings of Israel?
28Omri passed away and was laid to rest in Samaria, and his son Ahab took over the throne.
29In Asa's thirty-eighth year, Ahab, son of Omri, started ruling over Israel, repping Samaria for twenty-two years.
30Ahab, son of Omri, was hella evil in the Lord's sight, even more than everyone before him.
31So, Ahab was like, "Walking in Jeroboam's sins? Light work." He scooped up Jezebel, daughter of Ethbaal, king of the Zidonians, and started vibing with Baal, worshipping him fr.
32He built an altar for Baal in his crib, which was all decked out in Samaria.
33Ahab went all out, making a grove and lowkey making God madder than any other king of Israel before him, no cap.
34During his time, Hiel the Beth–elite was like, "Let’s build Jericho." He laid the foundation and, sadly, lost his firstborn Abiram, then set up the gates with his youngest son Segub, just like God told Joshua.