1King David was super old and kinda chilly; they threw blankets on him, but he was still cold, no cap.

2So his crew was like, "Yo, let's find a young baddie for the king to warm him up, fr."

3They searched all over Israel and found this total queen, Abishag from Shunem, and brought her to the king.

4She was hella cute and took care of the king, but he didn’t know her on that level.

5Then Adonijah, son of Haggith, was like, "I’m gonna be king!" and got chariots and a whole squad to flex for him.

6His dad never called him out for anything, and he was a pretty chill dude; his mom had him after Absalom.

7He teamed up with Joab and Abiathar the priest, and they were all about helping Adonijah pop off.

8But Zadok the priest, Benaiah, Nathan the prophet, and the OGs who rolled with David weren’t down with Adonijah.

9Adonijah was out here butchering sheep and oxen by Zoheleth’s stone, inviting all the king’s sons and Judah’s crew.

10But he didn’t call Nathan the prophet, Benaiah, the mighty men, or his brother Solomon, which was kinda sus.

11So Nathan slides into Bath-sheba's DMs, like, "Yo, have you heard? Adonijah is lowkey taking over, and David has no clue. That's sus."

12He’s like, "Listen up, I got some advice that could save your life and Solomon’s too, no cap."

13"Go hit up King David and ask him, 'Didn’t you swear Solomon would be the next king? So why’s Adonijah acting like he’s the boss?'"

14"While you’re chatting with the king, I’ll slide in right after you to back you up."

15Bath-sheba walked in on the king, who was super old, and Abishag the Shunammite was taking care of him, vibing hard.

16Bath-sheba bowed down, showing mad respect. The king was like, "What’s up?"

17She said, "My lord, you promised by God that Solomon would be the next king and sit on your throne, periodt."

18"But now, Adonijah is reigning, and you don’t even know, my king."

19"He’s throwing a feast with oxen and sheep, calling all the king’s sons and Abiathar the priest, but Solomon’s totally left out, that’s wild."

20"All of Israel is looking to you, my king, to decide who’s gonna take the throne after you."

21So when my dude, the king, kicks it with his fam, me and my son Solomon are gonna be seen as the bad guys.

22And while she was chatting with the king, Nathan the prophet just rolled in.

23They told the king, "Yo, Nathan's here!" And when he came in, he totally bowed down with his face to the ground.

24Nathan was like, "Yo king, did you really say Adonijah's gonna take over and sit on my throne?"

25'Cause today he’s down there, killing oxen and all that, throwing a feast, and he’s called all the king's sons and the squad, saying, "God save king Adonijah!"

26But me, your boy, Zadok the priest, and Benaiah, we weren’t invited to that party.

27Is this what’s poppin', king? And you didn’t tell me who’s supposed to sit on your throne after you?

28Then king David said, "Bring me Bath-sheba." And she came through and stood in front of him.

29And the king swore, saying, "As the Lord lives, who saved me from all my struggles,

30just like I promised you by the Lord God of Israel, Solomon your son is gonna reign after me and take my throne; I’m gonna make it happen today."

31Bath–sheba straight up bowed down, showing mad respect to the king, and said, "Let my dude King David live forever, fr."

32King David was like, "Yo, get me Zadok the priest, Nathan the prophet, and Benaiah, Jehoiada's son." They pulled up to the king.

33The king said, "Bring your crew and let my son Solomon ride my mule down to Gihon, no cap."

34"And let Zadok and Nathan anoint him king over Israel; blast that trumpet and shout, 'God save King Solomon!'"

35"Then y'all can roll up after him, so he can sit on my throne; he's gonna be king in my place, periodt."

36Benaiah, Jehoiada's son, was like, "Bet! The Lord God of my king says so too."

37"Just like the Lord has been with my king, may He be with Solomon and make his throne even more lit than yours, King David."

38So Zadok, Nathan, Benaiah, and the crew rolled down, put Solomon on King David’s mule, and took him to Gihon.

39Zadok grabbed a horn of oil from the tabernacle and anointed Solomon. They blew the trumpet, and everyone was like, "God save King Solomon!"

40The whole squad came up after him, playing pipes and vibing with joy, so loud that the earth shook with their hype.

41Adonijah and his crew were vibing after dinner when they heard the trumpet blow. Joab was like, "What’s all this noise? The city’s wildin’!"

42While he was talking, Jonathan, Abiathar's son, rolled up. Adonijah was like, "Yo, come in! You’re a real one and got good news."

43Jonathan was like, "No cap, King David just crowned Solomon as king."

44The king sent Zadok the priest, Nathan the prophet, and Benaiah with the Cherethites and Pelethites, and they had Solomon riding on the king’s mule, no lie.

45Zadok and Nathan anointed him king at Gihon, and they came back hyped, making the city pop off. That’s the noise you heard.

46And guess what? Solomon's sitting on the throne now.

47The king's servants came to bless David, saying, "May Solomon’s name be even more lit than yours, and his throne greater than yours." David was like, "Respect," and bowed.

48The king said, "Bless up to the Lord God of Israel for giving someone to sit on my throne today. I’m here for it."

49All of Adonijah's guests were shook, got up, and dipped out, fr.

50Adonijah was scared of Solomon, got up, and grabbed onto the horns of the altar like, "Help!"

51So, word got to Solomon that Adonijah was shook, holding onto the altar like, "Yo, swear you won't take me out, king Solomon."

52Solomon was like, "If you keep it real and show some rizz, you won't even lose a hair. But if you sus, it’s curtains for you."

53So, king Solomon sent for him, and they brought him down from the altar. He came and bowed, and Solomon was like, "Aight, just head home."

1Now king David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he gat no heat.

2Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat.

3So they sought for a fair damsel throughout all the coasts of Israel, and found Abishag a Shunammite, and brought her to the king.

4And the damsel was very fair, and cherished the king, and ministered to him: but the king knew her not.

5Then Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, I will be king: and he prepared him chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him.

6And his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so? and he also was a very goodly man; and his mother bare him after Absalom.

7And he conferred with Joab the son of Zeruiah, and with Abiathar the priest: and they following Adonijah helped him.

8But Zadok the priest, and Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and Nathan the prophet, and Shimei, and Rei, and the mighty men which belonged to David, were not with Adonijah.

9And Adonijah slew sheep and oxen and fat cattle by the stone of Zoheleth, which is by En–rogel, and called all his brethren the king’s sons, and all the men of Judah the king’s servants:

10But Nathan the prophet, and Benaiah, and the mighty men, and Solomon his brother, he called not.

11Wherefore Nathan spake unto Bath–sheba the mother of Solomon, saying, Hast thou not heard that Adonijah the son of Haggith doth reign, and David our lord knoweth it not?

12Now therefore come, let me, I pray thee, give thee counsel, that thou mayest save thine own life, and the life of thy son Solomon.

13Go and get thee in unto king David, and say unto him, Didst not thou, my lord, O king, swear unto thine handmaid, saying, Assuredly Solomon thy son shall reign after me, and he shall sit upon my throne? why then doth Adonijah reign?

14Behold, while thou yet talkest there with the king, I also will come in after thee, and confirm thy words.

15And Bath–sheba went in unto the king into the chamber: and the king was very old; and Abishag the Shunammite ministered unto the king.

16And Bath–sheba bowed, and did obeisance unto the king. And the king said, What wouldest thou?

17And she said unto him, My lord, thou swarest by the Lord thy God unto thine handmaid, saying, Assuredly Solomon thy son shall reign after me, and he shall sit upon my throne.

18And now, behold, Adonijah reigneth; and now, my lord the king, thou knowest it not:

19And he hath slain oxen and fat cattle and sheep in abundance, and hath called all the sons of the king, and Abiathar the priest, and Joab the captain of the host: but Solomon thy servant hath he not called.

20And thou, my lord, O king, the eyes of all Israel are upon thee, that thou shouldest tell them who shall sit on the throne of my lord the king after him.

21Otherwise it shall come to pass, when my lord the king shall sleep with his fathers, that I and my son Solomon shall be counted offenders.

22And, lo, while she yet talked with the king, Nathan the prophet also came in.

23And they told the king, saying, Behold Nathan the prophet. And when he was come in before the king, he bowed himself before the king with his face to the ground.

24And Nathan said, My lord, O king, hast thou said, Adonijah shall reign after me, and he shall sit upon my throne?

25For he is gone down this day, and hath slain oxen and fat cattle and sheep in abundance, and hath called all the king’s sons, and the captains of the host, and Abiathar the priest; and, behold, they eat and drink before him, and say, God save king Adonijah.

26But me, even me thy servant, and Zadok the priest, and Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and thy servant Solomon, hath he not called.

27Is this thing done by my lord the king, and thou hast not shewed it unto thy servant, who should sit on the throne of my lord the king after him?

28Then king David answered and said, Call me Bath–sheba. And she came into the king’s presence, and stood before the king.

29And the king sware, and said, As the Lord liveth, that hath redeemed my soul out of all distress,

30Even as I sware unto thee by the Lord God of Israel, saying, Assuredly Solomon thy son shall reign after me, and he shall sit upon my throne in my stead; even so will I certainly do this day.

31Then Bath–sheba bowed with her face to the earth, and did reverence to the king, and said, Let my lord king David live for ever.

32And king David said, Call me Zadok the priest, and Nathan the prophet, and Benaiah the son of Jehoiada. And they came before the king.

33The king also said unto them, Take with you the servants of your lord, and cause Solomon my son to ride upon mine own mule, and bring him down to Gihon:

34And let Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet anoint him there king over Israel: and blow ye with the trumpet, and say, God save king Solomon.

35Then ye shall come up after him, that he may come and sit upon my throne; for he shall be king in my stead: and I have appointed him to be ruler over Israel and over Judah.

36And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada answered the king, and said, Amen: the Lord God of my lord the king say so too.

37As the Lord hath been with my lord the king, even so be he with Solomon, and make his throne greater than the throne of my lord king David.

38So Zadok the priest, and Nathan the prophet, and Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and the Cherethites, and the Pelethites, went down, and caused Solomon to ride upon king David’s mule, and brought him to Gihon.

39And Zadok the priest took an horn of oil out of the tabernacle, and anointed Solomon. And they blew the trumpet; and all the people said, God save king Solomon.

40And all the people came up after him, and the people piped with pipes, and rejoiced with great joy, so that the earth rent with the sound of them.

41And Adonijah and all the guests that were with him heard it as they had made an end of eating. And when Joab heard the sound of the trumpet, he said, Wherefore is this noise of the city being in an uproar?

42And while he yet spake, behold, Jonathan the son of Abiathar the priest came: and Adonijah said unto him, Come in; for thou art a valiant man, and bringest good tidings.

43And Jonathan answered and said to Adonijah, Verily our lord king David hath made Solomon king.

44And the king hath sent with him Zadok the priest, and Nathan the prophet, and Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and the Cherethites, and the Pelethites, and they have caused him to ride upon the king’s mule:

45And Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet have anointed him king in Gihon: and they are come up from thence rejoicing, so that the city rang again. This is the noise that ye have heard.

46And also Solomon sitteth on the throne of the kingdom.

47And moreover the king’s servants came to bless our lord king David, saying, God make the name of Solomon better than thy name, and make his throne greater than thy throne. And the king bowed himself upon the bed.

48And also thus said the king, Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, which hath given one to sit on my throne this day, mine eyes even seeing it.

49And all the guests that were with Adonijah were afraid, and rose up, and went every man his way.

50And Adonijah feared because of Solomon, and arose, and went, and caught hold on the horns of the altar.

51And it was told Solomon, saying, Behold, Adonijah feareth king Solomon: for, lo, he hath caught hold on the horns of the altar, saying, Let king Solomon swear unto me to day that he will not slay his servant with the sword.

52And Solomon said, If he will shew himself a worthy man, there shall not an hair of him fall to the earth: but if wickedness shall be found in him, he shall die.

53So king Solomon sent, and they brought him down from the altar. And he came and bowed himself to king Solomon: and Solomon said unto him, Go to thine house.