1So all of Israel pulled up to David at Hebron, like, "Yo, we’re your fam, no cap."

2Back in the day, when Saul was king, you were the one leading Israel, and God was like, "You’ll feed my peeps and be the GOAT over them."

3So all the elders of Israel rolled up to the king at Hebron; David made a promise with them before God, and they anointed him king over Israel, just like God told Samuel.

4Then David and all of Israel headed to Jerusalem, aka Jebus, where the Jebusites were chillin’.

5The Jebusites were like, "You can’t come here." But David was savage and took the stronghold of Zion, which is the city of David.

6David said, "Whoever takes out the Jebusites first gets to be the boss." So Joab, Zeruiah's son, went in first and became the chief.

7David was living in the castle, so they just called it the city of David.

8He built up the city all around, starting from Millo, and Joab fixed the rest of it.

9David kept leveling up, 'cause the Lord of hosts was totally with him.

10These are the top homies who rolled with David, getting strong with him in his kingdom and all of Israel, making him king, just like God said about Israel.

11Yo, check it, David had some serious rizz with his crew; Jashobeam, the boss captain, took out three hundred peeps at once. Straight up lit.

12Next up was Eleazar, Dodo's son, the Ahohite; dude was one of the top three, no cap.

13He was chilling with David at Pas-dammim while the Philistines were ready to throw down over some barley land; everyone else dipped.

14They stood their ground, defended the spot, and took out the Philistines; the Lord came through with a major save.

15Three of the thirty captains rolled down to the rock to David, while the Philistines were camping in the Rephaim valley.

16David was holding it down in the cave, and the Philistine squad was chilling at Bethlehem.

17David was craving that sweet water from the Bethlehem well by the gate, like, "Man, I need that!"

18The three broke through the Philistines, snagged water from the well by the gate, and brought it back to David; but he was like, "Nah, I can't drink this," and poured it out for the Lord.

19He said, "My God, I can’t do that! Should I drink the blood of these guys who risked it all? They brought this with their lives." So he didn’t drink it. These three were straight up goated.

20Abishai, Joab's bro, was the boss of the three; he took out three hundred with his spear, earning mad respect among them.

21Out of the three, he was the most lit; he was their captain, but he didn’t make it to the top three, no cap.

22Benaiah, son of Jehoiada, was a straight-up savage; he took down two lion-like dudes from Moab and even slayed a lion in a pit on a snowy day.

23He also took out this giant Egyptian dude, like five cubits tall, who had a spear that was basically a tree trunk; Benaiah rolled up with a staff, snatched the spear, and took him out with his own weapon.

24Benaiah did all this and earned some serious respect among the three mighty ones.

25He was dope among the thirty, but didn’t make it to the top three; David put him in charge of his crew.

26The valiant homies in the armies included Asahel, Joab's bro, and Elhanan, son of Dodo from Bethlehem.

27Shammoth the Harorite and Helez the Pelonite were also in the squad.

28Ira, son of Ikkesh the Tekoite, and Abi-ezer the Antothite were holding it down too.

29Sibbecai the Hushathite and Ilai the Ahohite were part of the crew.

30Maharai the Netophathite and Heled, son of Baanah the Netophathite, were repping hard.

31Ithai, son of Ribai from Gibeah, reppin' the Benjamins, and Benaiah the Pirathonite, no cap.

32Hurai from the Gaash streams, and Abiel the Arbathite, just vibing.

33Azmaveth the Baharumite, and Eliahba the Shaalbonite, both goated.

34The sons of Hashem the Gizonite, and Jonathan, son of Shage the Hararite, straight up savage.

35Ahiam, son of Sacar the Hararite, and Eliphal, son of Ur, keepin' it real.

36Hepher the Mecherathite, and Ahijah the Pelonite, just chillin'.

37Hezro the Carmelite, and Naarai, son of Ezbai, lit crew.

38Joel, brother of Nathan, and Mibhar, son of Haggeri, always poppin' off.

39Zelek the Ammonite, and Naharai the Berothite, Joab's armor-bearer, straight bussin'.

40Ira the Ithrite, and Gareb the Ithrite, no cap, they’re the squad.

41Uriah the Hittite, Zabad the son of Ahlai, just vibing together, no cap.

42Adina the son of Shiza the Reubenite, a captain of the Reubenites, rollin' with thirty homies, pop off!

43Hanan the son of Maachah, and Joshaphat the Mithnite, just chillin' and flexin'.

44Uzzia the Ashterathite, Shama and Jehiel, the sons of Hothan the Aroerite, squad goals fr.

45Jediael the son of Shimri, and Joha his bro, the Tizite, keeping it real.

46Eliel the Mahavite, Jeribai, and Joshaviah, the sons of Elnaam, and Ithmah the Moabite, all lit together.

47Eliel, Obed, and Jasiel the Mesobaite, just a vibe check, no doubt.

1Then all Israel gathered themselves to David unto Hebron, saying, Behold, we are thy bone and thy flesh.

2And moreover in time past, even when Saul was king, thou wast he that leddest out and broughtest in Israel: and the Lord thy God said unto thee, Thou shalt feed my people Israel, and thou shalt be ruler over my people Israel.

3Therefore came all the elders of Israel to the king to Hebron; and David made a covenant with them in Hebron before the Lord; and they anointed David king over Israel, according to the word of the Lord by Samuel.

4And David and all Israel went to Jerusalem, which is Jebus; where the Jebusites were, the inhabitants of the land.

5And the inhabitants of Jebus said to David, Thou shalt not come hither. Nevertheless David took the castle of Zion, which is the city of David.

6And David said, Whosoever smiteth the Jebusites first shall be chief and captain. So Joab the son of Zeruiah went first up, and was chief.

7And David dwelt in the castle; therefore they called it the city of David.

8And he built the city round about, even from Millo round about: and Joab repaired the rest of the city.

9So David waxed greater and greater: for the Lord of hosts was with him.

10These also are the chief of the mighty men whom David had, who strengthened themselves with him in his kingdom, and with all Israel, to make him king, according to the word of the Lord concerning Israel.

11And this is the number of the mighty men whom David had; Jashobeam, an Hachmonite, the chief of the captains: he lifted up his spear against three hundred slain by him at one time.

12And after him was Eleazar the son of Dodo, the Ahohite, who was one of the three mighties.

13He was with David at Pas–dammim, and there the Philistines were gathered together to battle, where was a parcel of ground full of barley; and the people fled from before the Philistines.

14And they set themselves in the midst of that parcel, and delivered it, and slew the Philistines; and the Lord saved them by a great deliverance.

15Now three of the thirty captains went down to the rock to David, into the cave of Adullam; and the host of the Philistines encamped in the valley of Rephaim.

16And David was then in the hold, and the Philistines’ garrison was then at Beth–lehem.

17And David longed, and said, Oh that one would give me drink of the water of the well of Beth–lehem, that is at the gate!

18And the three brake through the host of the Philistines, and drew water out of the well of Beth–lehem, that was by the gate, and took it, and brought it to David: but David would not drink of it, but poured it out to the Lord,

19And said, My God forbid it me, that I should do this thing: shall I drink the blood of these men that have put their lives in jeopardy? for with the jeopardy of their lives they brought it. Therefore he would not drink it. These things did these three mightiest.

20And Abishai the brother of Joab, he was chief of the three: for lifting up his spear against three hundred, he slew them, and had a name among the three.

21Of the three, he was more honourable than the two; for he was their captain: howbeit he attained not to the first three.

22Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man of Kabzeel, who had done many acts; he slew two lionlike men of Moab: also he went down and slew a lion in a pit in a snowy day.

23And he slew an Egyptian, a man of great stature, five cubits high; and in the Egyptian’s hand was a spear like a weaver’s beam; and he went down to him with a staff, and plucked the spear out of the Egyptian’s hand, and slew him with his own spear.

24These things did Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and had the name among the three mighties.

25Behold, he was honourable among the thirty, but attained not to the first three: and David set him over his guard.

26Also the valiant men of the armies were, Asahel the brother of Joab, Elhanan the son of Dodo of Beth–lehem,

27Shammoth the Harorite, Helez the Pelonite,

28Ira the son of Ikkesh the Tekoite, Abi–ezer the Antothite,

29Sibbecai the Hushathite, Ilai the Ahohite,

30Maharai the Netophathite, Heled the son of Baanah the Netophathite,

31Ithai the son of Ribai of Gibeah, that pertained to the children of Benjamin, Benaiah the Pirathonite,

32Hurai of the brooks of Gaash, Abiel the Arbathite,

33Azmaveth the Baharumite, Eliahba the Shaalbonite,

34The sons of Hashem the Gizonite, Jonathan the son of Shage the Hararite,

35Ahiam the son of Sacar the Hararite, Eliphal the son of Ur,

36Hepher the Mecherathite, Ahijah the Pelonite,

37Hezro the Carmelite, Naarai the son of Ezbai,

38Joel the brother of Nathan, Mibhar the son of Haggeri,

39Zelek the Ammonite, Naharai the Berothite, the armourbearer of Joab the son of Zeruiah,

40Ira the Ithrite, Gareb the Ithrite,

41Uriah the Hittite, Zabad the son of Ahlai,

42Adina the son of Shiza the Reubenite, a captain of the Reubenites, and thirty with him,

43Hanan the son of Maachah, and Joshaphat the Mithnite,

44Uzzia the Ashterathite, Shama and Jehiel the sons of Hothan the Aroerite,

45Jediael the son of Shimri, and Joha his brother, the Tizite,

46Eliel the Mahavite, and Jeribai, and Joshaviah, the sons of Elnaam, and Ithmah the Moabite,

47Eliel, and Obed, and Jasiel the Mesobaite.